A
female
age
36-40,
*andacelynne
writes:I am 25 years old and my husband is 40. We have only been married for seven months and together for a little over a year. He owns a stripping company, and this alone was difficult to deal with, but I did out of love. For the past year I have dealt with texts between him and other women, him texts women customers from work, flirting, and he was unfaithful when we first met. No matter how many times I tell him how much it hurts, he continues to almost "need" the attention from other women. I am a give all wife, I give and love more than I ever thought i could to gain his respect, dinner everynight, cleaning, laundry, I even run his business for him to help out, all while I am in school, working a part time job and being amother to my five year old son. I am at the end of my rope, this is my second marriage, and I dont know what to do. Please help me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2010): You got involved very quickly with this man, saw that he was unfaithful early on and yet continued. So it is hardly surprising that you are unhappy. You took him how he was and that is how he stayed.
What you have to decide is whether you want to continue being treated like this. You don't sound happy. You could give him an ultimatum but don't raise your hopes of this working.
I think you probably give too much. If you do leave this man, make the next one earn your love and respect before you give him too much. I know it's hard if you are a naturally giving person, but you can do it!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): You can't make a leopard change his spots. He works in the flesh trade and was unfaithful when you first got together. Now, you are surprised that he isn't the pillar of society and the good husband?
He is what he is. Do not invest everything in this man if he is not a good investment. Do not be surprised that he is living true to himself ... even after marriage.
If you want a different sort of man... divorce this one... get into therapy to uncover your personal truths... and build a genuine life for you and your child.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (4 December 2010):
 Why did you marry him? You hardly knew this man when you said I do. He is not going to change and you will not gain his respect by being his doormat; on the contrary, he has no respect for you at all. You can't cure the problems in your marriage with love alone. He has to be willing to change too, and it doesn't sound like he's willing to change at all. I think you need to reconsider if this marriage was the right thing to do, because from here it sounds like a disaster.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): He is too old for you and cheated on you. When you can separate from him and be on your own financially I would do it. Don't waste your life being this idiot's maid and slave!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): This marriage sounded like a mistake to begin with. He cheated on you when you first met and you actually still married him???? And he owns a strip girl company??? Good lord, girl, where is your common sense? Why do women appreciate themselves so little? Before you can stop this vicious cycle of bad marriage there is something more important you need to work on: yourself and your self-esteem. Stop giving so much to others when they don't appreciate it or deserve it, and start investing in yourself, no more investing yourself in others, invest in yourself first, until you become who you need to be, which is NOT someone who will marry the owner of a strip company who actually cheated on her in the beginning and she STILL married him. That just reeks of tragedy and low self-esteem.
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