A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey there everyone ive got a question that i can't really answer myself.My girlfriend and i have been together for a few years now and we now share a house together, but it seems like im the one doing everything around the house all the time. She dose have a medical condition which dose limit some of the things that she can do ie. heavy lifting and standing for long periods of time. None the less it seems like im doing everything while she either lays around and sleeps, watches tv or hangs out with her friends back in her home town. We both work and it seems like for me the work never really stops i come home finish the laundry clean the dishes clean the house etc... I dont know if she's taking advantage of me cause i dont say anything or what. and im wondering if theres some i should say or could do. I'm not very confrontational and i dont want to start an argument.
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female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (14 August 2011):
 Don't start an argument, just say - "I've done the washing, and left the ironing for you." "Can you dry these dishes while I wash?" "Will you mash the potatoes while I finish off the gravy?" Speak up, ask for help. If you keep on like this, your resentment will increase and things will turn toxic.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2011): You don't need to complain so much as ask that she help out more.
When you don't communicate with someone you're living with, then you leave way too much to each other's imagination and paranoia. She might assume you just like doing housework or you're just a "neat" person and like to compulsively clean... while you might begin to assume that she's "taking advantage" of you. Unless you want to grow silently resentful of her and become passive aggressive, it's up to you to ask her to do her fair share. To you it's quite obvious it's not fair, but she might not have a clue. If it bothers you, you should say something.
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