A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, thanks in advance for your help. I am considering leaving this guy for the following reasons, and I would like some opinions on what I should do, and if I am right for being upset: I met this guy two years ago and he was an emotional wreck, he had broken up with a horrible girl, that lied to him and while she never cheated she treated him like dirt and used him, to the point where she would humiliate him on public, and ridiculing him for wanting to stay a virgin until marriage.When I met him he was an emotional wreck as I said, because of her. We started to date, but he kept talking to his ex. He then showed his sensitive , clingy side and seeing as he is still speaking to her I left him due to his weak attitude, and the fact that he kept talking to her.I really dislike drama, so I got away from him.Fast forward two years, and he seems like a different man. I am thinking to myself that he now has completely stopped talking to her and falling for her manipulations and "victim" scenes. I start to see him on occasion as we are long distance, but he makes the trips to come and see me and is willing to move to my city. So I am considering a serious relationship with him because that is what he wants.Sadly, while we were apart not only did he have sex with her (he lost his V card to her!) but he established a morbid friendship with her. So, he wants to get serious with me, so stops sleeping with her, but she keeps calling him to talk about her problems because "they are friends" , they will go out to bars, or to eat together...Last week, a friend his passed, so I gave him my condolences, and further from that I could not do because we are long distance. So, he calls this girl, tells her and she very nicely goes over to his house to "see how he is doing" and is staying over.Obviously, as we are nothing serious since I have not wanted it to, I cannot say anything to him, so confronting him would be weird.Honestly, I think their relationship is TOO CLOSE for comfort due to their history together, so it makes me uncomfortable. So I am honestly turned off from him because of his lack of backbone and strength. I mean this girl treated him worse than trash, and he is still talking to her.(According to her they don't have feelings for each other.)He says she has changed, but really? Isn't it a little weird?I have a friendly relationship with exes, but not to the point of going out together, they coming to comfort me and staying over...I dislike it. I would love your opinions!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): He hasn't changed at all OP, he's still very much hung up on his ex and they will be sleeping together and emotionally attached for a hell of a long time.
He's not relationship material OP.
Do what I did when I found myself in a similar situation, walk away and learn to never get involved with a guy like him. It's how they are OP, people who can't let go of people who are bad for them never will learn that ability. Sure they can let go of that specific person perhaps but they always have it in them to go back or to do that with another person.
You've been part of this triangle before and it's still very much a triangle, why are you still even in contact with a guy who is that weak and pathetic? It's not weird OP, it's what a lot of people are like, they just can't let go because they're slaves to their emotions and simply have very little strength or conviction as a person to think logically or with reason. Don't be one of those people OP. You met this guy two years and he's still not relationship material, stop playing his game and find a guy who doesn't tolerate that kind of crap and isn't so flaky, let those two have their sick little game of never letting go, just stop being like them and actually learn how to let go of people who are bad for you because this very much is. He thinks he can shag both of you and you'll just accept it.
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