A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've been in a long distance relationship for 8 months. we have always been two hours apart and never in the same city. we started talking through facebook and chatted for about 6 months before ever going on a date or anything. it was going really well, we would chat for hours and it was amazing whenever we were together. we see eachother in person once a month, and try to text everyday. he was the one who convinced me to try a relationship saying he really thought he could fall for me and wanted to give it a chance, even though i was hesitant. lately though, I've been feeling like he's backing off. If i didnt text him first I feel like we wouldn't talk. he didnt get me a valentines gift, or come to visit for my birthday. although he asked off work to attend a party with his friends. My friends tell me that he's just using me for sex, because i'm pretty sure i was his first (we never talked about it). Should i expect him to make more of an effort? or do boys not necessarily think about doing things like giving valentines day gifts or texting their girlfriends? I am seriously thinking about breaking up with him because i feel like he isn't into it as much as i am. I am falling in love with him. Is it wrong of me to break up with him on the thought that he doesn't like me as much as i do him? what should i do??????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): The only questions i have are, what if i break up with him because i think his feelings for me have gone, and he's completely upset about it. What if he really does still like me and just got comfortable with me texting him first and doesn't really know how important things like an "i miss you" mean to me? I just dont want to mess up a good thing, if his feelings aren't wavering and he just got comfortable with not having to make an effort. also, If he's using me for sex, why wouldn't he just find a girl from his home town? would he really make the effort of talking to me everyday and driving two hours to see me just to get laid?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 July 2012):
 I was in an LDR where we were two hours apart by car... it was all we could do to want to be together... every weekend after we got serious and then it was thursday nights through Sunday nights... and then we moved in together...
Men in love (or even deep like or a crush) move heaven and earth to see or be with the woman they love.
I think if you don't feel it from him, then it's not there... and he's probably just using you as you suspect.
while I can see not doing something for valentine's day (some people are like that) ignoring a birthday is not cool....
It's not wrong of you to end an LDR where you are not feeling his love or effort... (it's not wrong in a close distance relationship either but it's different in how it's done)
He may escalate the good behavior after you end it with him...
if you are the one starting the contact, the best thing to do at first is just NOT contact him.... he will get in touch with you eventually.... a couple of weeks or so...
then you can say "I've been busy... and I think for right now it's best that we end the relationship... the distance is too much"
he can't argue with that as it's partially the truth....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): I honestly think he is just using you for sex, when a guy is really into a girl, he would do anything for her and be worried if he doesn't hear from her or doesn't text him back. Guys buy girls they like valentines day gist and bday gifts, my partner and I text nonstop everyday and we have been together for over 2 years. So, I think that he is not into you. I think that the reason you want him if because he is pulling back, and honestly, if you stop talking to him I can assure you he wont react or wont even care enough, because he is not into you.
Now lets pretend he is busy, but not even seeing you more than once a month? Your mistake was giving it up too soon, because he no has nothing to chase because he got what he wanted. Also, no matter how busy a guy might be if he like you he will sneak in a text or a call. Also, getting something for the girl you like in st. Valentines is a no brainer, I mean think about it... remember since elementary where boys had to bring stuff to gift to girls and their friends? EVERY guy knows that he must give something to their special lady , at least a dinner or a home cooked meal.Or ANYTHING or for her bday.
So, my most sincere advice is move on, he is not as into you as you think. He has probably moved on already as a party is more important than you. Sorry!
PS. What I would do I post happy status on Facebook/Twitter, that are vague about what an awesome time you are having. try cutting communication with him, and saying things like "Sorry gotta go my friend came to pick me up!"
Or vague things of the sort and even if you are miserable always pretend to be very busy and happy to pique his interest, because I think that since you were so easy to get he took you for granted and got bored easily.
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