A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a really big delma that i can only ask you guys about. Ok, so I've been dating this guy for 5 months and i just learned from searching him up on google, that he does porn for a living. I he's really nice around me and consideret i mean he bodybuilds and does that naturaly but the porn thing is really nagging me. I dont know if i should confront him about it or keep quiet but he thinks I'm going to sleep with him on valentine's day but i dont know i want to if he wont even tell me this. So should confront him? should i still sleep with him? do you consider porn cheating?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Tell him what you found out, and talk to him about his job. The problem is that sex for him is a job, and even though it will be different and more special with you, it's still something he dose to many women all day. Then there is the feelings of inadequacy (yours) and intimacy (his) that may come up. Yes it's a job, and porn actors/actresses deserve loving partners too, but it would take a strong person to become involved with somebody from the sex industry. If you like him, then have a long talk about all the issues this brings up for you.
Remember, when he's a work, it's robotic sex, and he approaches it like any other job, with his partner things will be different. Probably people in the sex industry deserve and require the most love.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): You will have a lot to live upto,he gets the best sex in the world anything most men could only dream of, then he comes home to you, a little tired after a hard day at the office and wants to go to sleep,Mmmmmm how did your day go Dear,sorry I'm a little worn out had to do a bit of overtime.Ok I'll make you a nice drink.DON'T think so,and how do you top it for him and make it that little bit more special, now that really is a hard one to live upto.still bet he's well experianced in how to please a woman,think I would def have to try it for my own sake to see what it's like to be with a fit porn star, bur def not into a relationship to dodgy emmotionally. Good Luck and let us know how it goes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): obviously you are not comfortable with him being a porn star.and being that its his job, technically he would be cheating but thats a fine line.confront him about it.because if you are not comfortable with it then you should not be dating him.its bad news for both of you.p.s. ask him if any female porn stars he knows are looking for boyfriends. i have no problem dating lady porn stars or strippers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): I actually know a girl who this happened to. She met him on line, did not know he was a porn Star, and she at first was just interested in having sex with an expert.
However, she developed strong feelings for him and he her and they have had nothing but problems since.....she keeps trying to talk him out of his job and going back into computers or IT, which is what his educational background is....and his parents have all but disowned him because of his profession.
He makes a lot of money and lives in California and rubs elbows with the stars so he is addicted to the glamourous life....he has also been on some sort of MTV special about porn....so he isn't about to give it up for her even though he promised he would after about a year.
She has called him late at night when he has had some of his female porn start co workers over to his house and they were all drinking, now you tell me, would you feel threatened? And some of these girls knowing she is his girlfriend have been kind of mean to her and critical of her looks, etc.
I don't understand what she sees in him, but I will tell you this, she is rather shallow because she claims she is attracted to his money and the things he can buy her, but she also pays for every penny of it since it is only about the money. She is compromising her values and she pretty much feels worried and threatened and sick to her stomach every day knowing what he is going to do when he goes to work.....One of these days I wouldn't be surprised if she joins the business, if he keeps working on her....and throws money at her, she may end up more screwed up than when he found her.
But, hey you decide.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (10 February 2009):
 first of all, how do you feel about it?
second, next time google them before going on the first date
i had a date with a guy and i googled him before i met him to find out that he gives 'the art ofseduction seminars". i still went out with him out of curiosity but i told him right away, i like you as a person, i accept what you do but i am not interested in you as a bf. he was shocked of course, tried to change my mind, then accepted my decision and then really opened up about what he does.
be open with him, be honest about your feelings about it but don't confront him in an attacking way, afterall he's a big boy and can do whatever he wants its up to you whether or not you want to accept it or not.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (10 February 2009):
If I worked in porn it wouldn't be the first thing I talked about with my new partners as it would scare them off!
Just start asking him about what he does for a living in detail and he may "come out" to you once he thinks he can trust you.
If it would bother you sleeping with him if you knew "the truth" then confront him about it, but give him a chance to come clean first.
Good Luck!! xx
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