A
female
age
41-50,
*issconcerned
writes: Hi ThereI am writing as in a new relationship - 4 months ish. I am totally infatuated with this guy and he seems just as keen but something is still niggling at me all the time telling me I couldn’t be as lucky to get someone I like this much like me back.So acting crazy, after getting ready to go to work in his room one morning I looked at photos (I really shouldn’t have snooped.) But discovered pictures of an ex, over 4 years ago I believe which were all of her in posing in underwear. I know this is in the past and I know he likes pics as has asked me to send some lots of times. But now I cannot get this image out of my head. Because he still has these pictures could he still like her? And does this mean I am not as important to him??? I know I can’t raise it as I was bang out of order snooping but is this a complete over reaction?? Please help me be less MAD!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (17 August 2007):
Hi
I was terrible for comparing myself to things like that when i was your age! It does get better when you get older to be honest. Not wishing you to get older but you will know what i mean in 10 years hehe.
I think you just get more accepting of yourself as a person. And theres too much going on, work, children etc etc to be worried about it! ha!
Take care
C xxxxx
A
female
reader, missconcerned +, writes (17 August 2007):
missconcerned is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies; it does help to put things in perspective. I guess it could be an idea if ever it did come up in conversation to say I am not comfortable with it as I guess they may not have even considered it. I am a usual neurotic female who can’t help but compare myself to other pics of people which I guess is again not very healthy! Thanks for all advice much appreciated x
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (17 August 2007):
I am a guy about to get married, and I have EVERY nude/semi-nude pics of my exs...somewhere in the house. I do not look at them, unless I come across them, but it is more of curiousity and memory lane, than any serious attachment.
No, it does not mean she is more important than you.
No, I do not think you have anything to worry about.
He is a guy, and we like pics of girls, esp the ones we actually know.
If he is asking of pics of you, then by all means, give him something that he will enjoy.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (16 August 2007):
Hi
I wouldnt worry! Ive still got pics on my phone from my ex, in, um, little attire hehe and we split a couple of months ago, my choice, cant stand the bloke & certainly havent even looked at them. Just havent got round to deleting them. Ive got pics of further back exes too & to be honest my most recent ex was bothered about that, even though they were ones of when we were out. So i guess people can be funny about it.
But i dont think its a sign he still likes her. I dont ever have a problem someone having pics of their past. Everyone has a past & thats exactly what it is. Past.
I would put them back where you found them & if it ever comes up in convo, ask if he has rude pics of exes, then say you're not sure if your comfy with it?
I definately wouldnt read anything into it though, especially after 4 years?!
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
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