A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: i just found out that my fiancee of 4 years has had a fling with an ex then arranged our marriage i only found out after we got married because she text him to say he was mad do i stay with him or not we have a 3yr old little girl
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (9 January 2008):
Hi,
He has cheated on you, so he owes YOU an explanation.
I'm sorry I dont go for this advice about how marriage is a rollercoaster ride etc etc
He needs to explain himself as if he had no qualms about seeing this woman while he was engaged to you. What makes you think he wont do it again?
A
female
reader, KayKayKay +, writes (9 January 2008):
Yes, if you are both willing to get help. WHy do you think for one minute that marriage is easy? That your spouse, boyfirend, fience or whatever won't be attracted to other people? He will and you will. The real question is "what are you going to do next."
Marriage is hard. 50% of people who try it fail. Of those who try for a second time (like your husband) only 30% succeed. Does he have the skill set he needs to stay married? Do you?
Marriage can be awsome...but you have to MAKE IT SO! If you two want a successfull marriage than don't leave it to chance. Go to a work shop, read books, work on it.
Runners read running magazines and books and work at it ever day...else...how would they compete. Your marriage is more imporant that a race.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (9 January 2008):
It sounds like he may still be having a fling with her if she is currently texting him, telling him she's mad or whatever. You should confront him first, suggest marital counseling to figure out what's missing in your relationship that makes him want to seek sex outside his marriage and then if that doesn't help the situation, it may be time to file for divorce and let him have his stupid ex because he obviously never got over her.
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