A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm sorta at a loss right now. Over a year ago, I was dating a woman who was and probably still is, great. But about a half year later she had complications with her family and was homesick and had to leave back to her home, I was devastated, but over time I slowly moved on. A few weeks after that, a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend and was at a loss. I was going through enough to try to move on that I told myself that I had to be a good friend and be there for her. Slowly after that we talked and grew closer to eachother, people at work would tell us that we acted as if we were more then friends, but I told them we were just friends. Then over time she invited me to a movie with her and her son, when I was introduced to him, I took a liking to him. He is a great kid. After that I was invited over to her apartment to help her move and visit. I also invited her to my birthday party with some family and friends and she came with her son. My brother pulled me to the side and told me that it was obivious that she liked me otherwise she wouldn't have come. I told him we were just friends. She would text me and we would talk about anything. But over time I felt a strong feeling, something I thought I couldn't feel for a long time, it was feelings. I had feelings for her. I was nervous, but I had to tell her, but by then something erupted in my family. It was feud between 4 families and I had to stop it. I couldn't tell her, not yet, not until it was over. But it was too late, 2 months after the eruption she met someone else. What makes this worse is that I know him very well, enough to say that he is bad man. I'm crushed, she is seeing someone who abandoned his ex and 5 kids. He's fooling around with her and I hate him for that. My sister and her boyfriend told about this and said not to talk to her. I don't hate her, but she avoided me because I knew. That same night I texted her and asked if we could talk, she was mad because she thought I would yell at her and say hateful things, but I told her no, I just needed to let out something I should've told her 4 months ago. We met at a bridge it was midnight. I finally told her how I felt about her, and about the man she was seeing, how he is a bad guy. She said that she has feelings for him, but not love feelings and I told her how much I cared about her and her son enough not to see him and her get hurt again or even worse. She cried and told me she didn't know someone like me liked someone like her and she doesn't know what to do. We worked the same weekend but I didn't want it to be avoidance, we talked again, it was great. But now I worry about the both of them, everyone in the family says she's a bad woman for doing this, but I defended her I told them they don't know her like I do. I don't want to lose them, what can I do?
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female
reader, cute_lily  +, writes (4 February 2009):
I'm sorry but I'm a bit confused about your problem. Have you spoken to her about the guy she is seeing? Because she may change her mind if she knew the truth about him. Talk things through with her and hope that she's sees sense. you obviously have feelings for her and probably are falling in love with her. Talk to her.
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