A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One night, we had some friends over for drinks and we decided to play truth or dare. My boyfriend was asked what is the best sex he has ever had, and he said a threesome he had with his ex girlfriend and her friend. I had no idea this had even happened and I was shocked. The questions did make me feel uncomfortable so I decided to stop playing half way. His friends were asking questions that I don't think any guy should ask a girl, like would we like to be DP by anyone two guys in the room ect, or daring us to touch each other ect. I could tell my friends didn't like it either so we left the room and left my boyfriend, his friends and their girlfriends in the room where they were playing. My two friends are single so they were on their own. Anyway the next day one of the girlfriends posted a picture on facebook of my boyfriends face in her breasts. There were others but not of my boyfriend. I knew my boyfriend is a little wild but I never thought he would do something like that with me in the same house, talking about things that he knows my friends and I would be uncomfortable talking about and doing things with other women in our home.We have lived together for three months and been in a relationship for just over a year this march. I've thought about it long and hard and I really don't think it's acceptable when he knows that my personality isn't like that and that he shouldn't have acted such a way in front of my friends, or allowed his friends to talk to us in such ways. I really didn't like it and that photo was just the icing on the cake. I just don't know how to go about talking to him about it, any ideas?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015): I think you could use this event as a jumping off point to have a conversation about boundaries & respect that is obviously long overdue.
Try to get something positive out of this.
When you discuss this issue with him, don't be accusatory to your boyfriend, as he has a different perspective on this than you do. Sounds like you both need to sit down and talk about what is and is not ok for your relationship. Be open to listen to his feedback as well. Did you tell him when you left the game that you were uncomfortable with him continuing? or just that you did not want to stay?
He apparently has different boundaries than you, which is not necessarily wrong. You should both talk about it together, and really listen to him too. Don't just assume that his different views are wrong. If you feel insecure or jealous about these things, let him know and give him tho opportunity to reassure you that your relationship is ok and that he still loves you.
Remember, only you can change or control your feelings. Own them and take responsibility for changing them.
I hope all works out for the best. I think you can get lemonade out of this lemon if you really try!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015): Is this bf really right for you? I would be questioning that, because how he acted was incredibly disrespectful. I wouldn't tolerate that behaviour, and I can trust my husband to never do that. You deserve someone who respects your nature more. If he can so happily discuss private sexual relationships like that - and even worse ones he hadn't warned you of prior to blurting it out - then I would be worried he would say the same about you. He sounds like a pig, and I would leave before you become just another story and bit of banter with his mates.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015): This was wrong on so many levels and you quite rightly know it. If you don't set yourself strong boundaries in life regarding men they will just walk over you. What your boyfriend did in your home..your safe space..made you feel bad and I would say this is a warning about how little respect he has for you. He has showed you his true colours. Of course you want to talk to him. Find out why. Hope he will change. Give him another chance. Get real my dear because you need to be dating someone more mature. Show yourself some respect and ditch him. I wouldn't let any man treat me like that. Not ever.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015): Wow! They sound like a bunch of mysognistic jerks . Ask yourself do you really want to be with someone like that and there's your answer
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (13 April 2015):
 Soooooo.......... you dump his a$$.... and THAT is the end of the matter.... Is that what you want to know?????
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 April 2015):
 Honestly, playing truth or dare in your 20's? That is for like 6 graders?
But besides that? When you put a bunch of immature guy who HOPE to get something SEXUAL out of a game of truth or dare, THIS is the result.
Are you willing to walk away? (I would be to be honest) If so find a place else to live tell him you are moving out and then have friends help you move.
I wouldn't call your BF wild, I'd call him crude.
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