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Having sex is painful for both of us, but I still have needs and I'm hurt when my boyfriend rejects me!

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

[Mod note: Two questions from the same poster have been combined.]

I am in a 7 month relationship, I have 2 children from a previous relationship, one of which was 9 pound! I always worried I wouldn't be tight enough in my vaginal area after having a huge baby, however, I have lost 2 stone over 4 months and work out non stop, I am getting muscles and doing a lot of squats, all of a sudden, having sex really hurts.

My boyfriend said my vagina just feels really tight? it really does hurt, he has a small penis anyway and when we first got together, in some positions I hardly felt like I could feel it but now I feel every inch of him.

Could it be because of squatting? I have no idea, can anyone help?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months, we see eachother 2-3 times a week, things have been great, he works non stop though, sometimes 2 weeks in a row but still makes time for me, however when it comes to sex.. we have sex like 2-3 times a week but I feel like I NEED it more, im constantly trying to have sex with him, I love how close we feel when having sex and i love making him happy, I do the majority of the work, I feel so wanted and needed during sex, it's great. However, he says I act like a sex addict and theres more to a relationship than sex and if we have sex too much it will ruin things between us.

I dont want to push him away, but I have needs, I masturbate twice a day sometimes 3 times and im so attracted to him I just want him all the time, I send him dirty texts and photos while hes at work and it's got to the point where I feel rejected if he says no to sex because hes tired, (which i understand) but it makes me feel sad and unloved. We will be watching Tv or playing video games and ill just want him so much ill get frustrated and start touching him and he usually asks me to stop.. I don't know whats wrong with me?

HELP!

View related questions: at work, muscle, sex addict, text, unloved, vagina, video games

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (13 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIF having sex all of a sudden hurts, I'd go get a check up by a GYN. And maybe have a hormonal work up done too? It can be that AFTER the birth of your child you have found that sex is GREAT and you want it constantly. I don't think it's abnormal, but if you are trying to get affirmation that you are still sexy and hot, by constantly demanding sex it can really backfire.

I think you have to look at little deeper at your actions, if you think SEX is the only way you can feel wanted and needed you ARE perhaps acting like an "sex addict" - doesn't mean you ARE one, but I think you are solely focusing on the sex instead of intimacy. I'd say TRY and show how much you CARE in other ways than sex? At least once in a while.

If HE was the one constantly trying to have sex, he would be "shamed" by everyone for not seeing his GF as a person. I'll say the same to you - HE is a person too. NOT just a walking penis to pleasure you.

I think if you keep pushing so aggressively for sex and sexual gratification he will want sex less.

Maybe you libido is WAY higher than his - which can be why you want it constantly he he doesn't - it makes for a bad match sexually.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (13 April 2015):

rcn agony auntSeems your exercise is releasing hormones that is increasing your sexual desire. It's normal. Let him know you're not an addict, you simply have an overwhelming desire to be close to him. Maybe that will lighten things up a bit. You also need to keep in mind that some guys can't go all the time. It may be to much for him, but with guys how much varies.

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