A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend just broke up with me recently, and she gave no clear reason. Our relationship was fine we were completely fine, but i think it's cause i'm "lame." I admit I don't go out and party "a lot" but I have friends and we go out once and a while, we have fun... The new guy she is with seems like "even more fun." They go out and party, drink, and have fun. When we were together, we got a lil mundane, but is that really a reason to leave someone you've been with for so long (3 years)? We really had something special. I treated her so well and with so much respect. Is there any way i can show her i can be "fun" too? Is there any way she'll come back to me? What can i do?
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male
reader, wildman +, writes (22 February 2008):
 Sorry to say you might have to move on. I know it hurts a lot. If you find yourself bored with your life maybe you can change a little, but if not just do what you have been doing. Someone is out there who will like you for who you are, you are not that old yet. Maybe you could go to a dance club just for fun and try to open up a bit. I know most women I know like to dance even if the guy doesn't dance that great. It doesn't seem to matter after a couple drinks. I personally don't really like dancing but it seems to be a necessary evil.
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (21 February 2008):
 Don't beat yourself up about it! So what if you are not a "Party Animal"? You don't have to re-invent yourself just to please a girl, if you do want to have more fun and going out to party. Do it for yourself, I think she really gave you a raw deal to dump you and then date someone else just because he is supposedly more excitable.
You are well rid of her, find someone who likes you for who you are and not some spoilt little girl who tries to mould you into something you are not.
Join a sports club or any other club come to that,of which you may enjoy more. There are plenty of young ladies out there who share the same interests as you and will only be too happy to have you as their boyfriend.
Keep your chin up Sweetie and good luck. Dusky xxx.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 February 2008):
"You are too predictable and no surprises . "
That is the most given reason when girls want to leave a relationship. It becomes too boring and when you take her for granted.She needs some surprises now and then to maintain her interest in you.
Now that she has bolted, you want to show her you could be fun. Isn't that too late ?
You can go on waiting for her or you can go on living your life without her.
Nobody knows what will happen in the future. She may come back to you or she may not. She may get fed up of the new lifestyle and return back to you.Or you may meet somebody new. There are many probabilities but no answers for the moment.
Just take each day at a time and enjoy... Stop thinking about her and refocus on those things that you enjoy doing.
Enjoy your single moments for now.
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A
male
reader, Pig  +, writes (21 February 2008):
I was in an exact same situation. The real reason for her leaving is probably because she fell in love with another guy so there is nothing you can do here. If you really want her back don't loose hope. Maybe she will realize what a mistake she made and come back. I don't think there is a lot you can do about it right now. Just go with the flow.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008): Dont try to change yourself in hope that she will realise what mistakes she has made. Stay the same person but jut better yourself. What I mean is if you didnt used to party dont start to over do it with parties (unless you really WANT to). She will notice this and think that you are doing it to make her jealous. Be you. If she misses you she will realise this for herself!. Do explore other things that make you happy. Maybe in time she will realise that it was not all about the party life style, the novelty may wear off and she may realise she had a good thing all along.
by then it will be too late as you would have moved on.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (21 February 2008):
 Added:
You can apply the lessons you learnt from this relationship failure to future relationships: They take *work* to make them *work*. It's easy to get complacent, stop going out, stop doing new things that test and excite you both.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (21 February 2008):
This is easy. She will not come back to you because she has moved on. You need to accept this and do the same.
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