A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am getting pretty serious with my girlfriend. We've talked about things of our past. Things we regret and wish we could have back, such as people we've slept with that are still involved in some capacity of our lives. A few weeks ago, she told me a story about her getting involved with someone who was seperated from his wife, and basically had a short relationship with him, until she realized that she may have been on the bad end of the relationship, and was not going to get to be with this person. She felt terrible, I believe her, and trust her 100% that its over (as it was over a year ago). I told her that she was human, had feelings, and believed she may have had a future relationship with. The only thing I cared about is that it was over, and that there were no feelings more. She told me no, and it was end of story. No Jealousy, no questions asked since. We've had a pretty intense, fast relationship, and I think this girl can be the one.My question is, there is part of my past that I don't really want to disclose. There was an ex, who was telling me she was going through a rough time, missed me, etc... This was when she was engaged. I thought of it as an opportunity to get back together, and made a mistake of messing around with her. There wasn't sex, but just about everything else. This was about 10 months before I met my current girlfriend. Please trust me, that I know that even though I thought it was right at the time, and a chance to get back together with her, that how wrong it was. I felt like I was the one who cheated, and I was the one who was single. I think its apparent that since a year has past, and I've never said anything to anyone, that if she hasn't told anyone by now, that its not going to be mentioned, especially since she went through with the wedding and her now husband, was a friend of mine (distant friend), and you can imagine that when they got together, we all stopped being friends. In a sense, it was a bit of closure, that I could never be with someone that did that, and never trust my ex to be in a relationship with her again, if she could do that with me. Since I met my girlfriend now, I now understand why nothing ever worked out with previous women, because I feel like my current girlfriend is the greatest thing thats ever happened to me. We had the conversation recently (and I think its important) that if either of us have ever cheated on someone. I told her I've been cheated on, and had been the one that someone else cheated on their boyfriend with, but I have never cheated on a girlfriend in my life. 100% truth. Is that enough for my girlfriend? She went into specifics on her scenario where she was the other woman. I didn't go into specifics about my ex, and that she was engaged at the time. I didn't lie. I just didn't tell all the specifics, because my ex is in my group of friends, and I dont want to put everyone, most of all her, in such a bad spot, on something that I think was a mistake, and learned from.I'm not trying to protect my ex by any means, but I'm not trying to ruin her marriage. I also don't want to lose any of my friends. I hope she's learned from it and doesn't ever do it again. I just want to make sure by not getting into specifics with my current girlfriend, if I'm okay and didn't lie, or put myself in a spot where down the road this can haunt me?HELP!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): I never wanted to know and never asked. She came pretty much out of nowhere after I told her about someone we mutually know that I told her I had slept with in the past if she heard it at all. Then I'm not sure if she felt like she had to tell me something or other because I dislosed some things about her, so when she told me, I honestly didn't even think of my past with my ex because it was a year ago. Some time passed, we ran into my ex out one night, and it came to my mind and I wondered if now I'm supposed to bring this up.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): Well, you wanted to know her story, and she deserves to know yours.
You are ashamed to tell her, but that is shame and fear talking.
She deserves to know.
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