A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A little while ago my boyfriend cheated on me. he was drinking.. a lot and this one girl who has been after him for a long time.. a few years (shes.. not exactly particular about who she sleeps with, all she wanted was him.. but not really as a boyfriend obviously). He knew this and has been pushing her away everytime she comes near him. Well shes somewhat related to his stepmoms family and later that night she asked his parents if she could spend the night. by this time he was drunk and in his room. she went to his room and started drinking with him i guess and started on him and ended up going down on him and making out... thats as far as it went. When he sobered up sometime during this he shoved her away and went and slept on the couch in the living room. He told me later what happened and said he will respect what i chose to do and said that their are no excuses for what he did that he was sorry. He hates himself for what he did. He loves me more than anything, everyone has said this (his family, friends, himself, everyone.. and they all said that the last thing that they expected was that he would cheat, especially on me). I didn't break up with him. I am not going to do anything physical for a while until i can get past what they did but we are talking and he has told me everything. We are trying to work things out.. My question is, did i do the right thing? I respect that he told me and that it is quite clear that he feels horrible. He didn't beg or make excuses or any other cliched action that you hear many people do after cheating. What do you all think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): Hi its me.. can't figure out how to update this. To the second replier.. he didn't TAKe her home. He was AT home.. she called his dad and asked to spend the night since she is a relative to my boyfriends stepmom. he was already drinking and so had she and she went to HIs room. Hes never liked her and always drove him crazy trying to get with him he would just walk away and ignore her, shes a slut everyone agrees on that. I have seen him around her before this even happened. She was not there when he started drinking she came in later. He didn't make himself to be the victim. He takes full responsibility for what he did. For the third reply Thanks for the advice. I never bring up old arguments, all it does it make things worse. I have seen way too many people do that and have promised my self to resolve things as they happened and let them stay in the past afterwards. Thank you all for replying.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 June 2009):
 I think first of all, only YOU can say if it was the right thing to do or not. Though in my honest opinion being drunk is really a bad excuse that I have heard a lot of times.
If you forgive him, you will have to remember that his actions can NOT be used in future arguments. Once something has been forgiven the slate should be clean. Unless he does the same thing again, then you can use it to dump him.
He told you. Which gives him high marks in my book. I think it fair enough that you want to step back from intimacy a while because of it, but make sure you let him know why.
Good luck,
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A
female
reader, always.you +, writes (4 June 2009):
 no honey i honestly think you did the right thing by not breaking up with him. The fact that he shoved her away and left means he had remorse and he was a man about it and told you about it. most men dont until there caught. id give him one last chance.
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