A
male
age
30-35,
*erpderp
writes:Met up with my buddy to discuss a trip. Brought some booze, he brought some too = Too much booze. Typical situation.Well here's the kicker; he brought his colleague along this time. I don't know if it was intentional but he isolated himself from us after awhile, literally went talking to strangers. Was pretty much left with her the whole time.Allow me to describe her right the top of my head: She's pretty, smart, rich, independent, foreign, atheletic, dorky. She's 19 (prepare to gasp) but has never been in an relationship (and gasp) - I know right.So yeah, out of league.That's what I thought until my bud went home and I was left with her. We gave each other nicknames, laughed a ton.. Let's just say that I've never felt this happy for a long, long time. However I could feel an odd tension between us. Ie. I wanted to put my arms around her whenever she shared something sad and heart touching, but I held myself back in fear that I'd be breaching her personal space. Vice versa; she was flattered by me, I don't know how but she was. I was stunned when I realised that she was leaning closer and closer to me until she got so close that she started apologising for the "awkwardness". I acted oblivious and smiled.Then came the part where I had to send her off (cry!). She grabbed my arm for a brief period and I yet again acted oblivious. Oddly enough, she didn't seem to realise that she was holding me. Is it a female reflex? Haha.I don't know.. Am I simply imagining that she's attracted to me? She did ask me about my ex but I don't know if it was out of concern (I was still pretty beat-up about my previous relationship and she noticed somehow). I quickly just told her "It's over." as it was a very rough patch for me.So the cab arrived. I couldn't bring myself to ask her for her number as I convinced myself that it was merely infatuation and alcohol in my brain that I was confusing my emotions with.It ended with a "Goodnight" and I held my breathe and tried to walk away without thinking too much about it. Turns out, I miss her.Question is, what now?
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male
reader, herpderp +, writes (22 August 2011):
herpderp is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKyle, I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know what I really want. But something tells me I'm going to find out soon.
Thanks man. We need more people like you in this world.
A
male
reader, Kyle007  +, writes (21 August 2011):
You cannot convince me that you don't want to bring her into a relationship. No one I know acts like this with someone they want to be friends with.
And why don't you deserve her? Exactly what are the prerequisites for happiness anyway? If she likes you and you make her happy what more is there to it than that?
You have to like yourself, and people will like you.
So what you have been trashing yourself for 2 years. Maybe meeting this person is the end of you doing that to yourself.
Let her decide whether you are worthy and what kind of relationship she would like. This is not all you, you know. You can make her happy too.
Now, as far as the touching part, the next time you see her, somewhere in the conversation, very calmly place your hand on the table, palm up as a non-verbal way to offer to hold hands.
I know that this girl makes your heart pound in her company, and all this takes a lot of bravery on your part, BUT the pain you will be in if you do not see this through just may be worse.
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A
male
reader, herpderp +, writes (21 August 2011):
herpderp is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much sir.Done and done. I've just asked my bud for her number. One way or another I'm going to make this happen. Unfortunately, I just realised that that's the easy part.Thing is, I don't know what I want from this relationship. I'm literally "not good enough for her". Been trashing myself for 2 years now due to multiple nasty obstacles in life. Never had anyone to talk to about it. Suffice to say I'm not in the best shape right now. I used to be the best at anything I did, sports, music, academics. I got too arrogant, started partying and slowly disregarded what was truly important in my life. I fell down hard. Top it off with family issues (An abusive father, you know the drill), I've essentially done nothing with my life for close to 2 years now. But when I talked to her, as I mentioned in my previous post: "Let's just say that I've never felt this happy for a long, long time".That's also something that bugs me. I'm someone who knows how to talk "smoothly(?)". But that's pretty much ALL I have for her right now; a good mouth (facepalm). YET, she didn't seem to mind at all. It was only just our first time meeting but she simply disregarded my flaws.How does this relate to her? I see her as someone you could share your thoughts with. But! I don't want to bring her or myself into a relationship. She's never been in a relationship, she's got her education (which she is very focused upon) to work towards - Simply put it will be downright selfish of me to get into a relationship with her, so I won't and will not get That close to her in fear that I might do more harm than good. I too, am just not ready; I still feel aches in my heart, tears you can't cry. It's aggravating and frustrating. Emotions bottled up.. (It goes on).That first time we met, she poured her heart out to me. Her life story played like a movie through my mind as I just sat there listening to her for hours. The interesting thing? She knows practically nothing about me - It's a thing I have, not sharing much about my personal life to anyone whom I've just met. She even tried asking for my age for the whole few hours we had, trying to get clues and get a clear picture of what kind of person I am, down to the part I had to send her off. All to no avail.I feel like a timebomb of insanity that could explode anytime. Full of confusion, nervousness and just afraid of how things are going to turn out. I want to tell her about myself.. but apart from telling jokes and being charming, when it comes to my own life, it's just all foggy.So that's what's on my mind. Would greatly appreciate any follow-up answers from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for reading!
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (21 August 2011):
Get the number from your friend. Do NOT let this get away or you will be torturing yourself about it.
Tell her when you call that you wanted to ask her number but were too drunk to write it down, so you asked your friend for it. Be polite, say "I hope its OK to call you like this".
Get some kind of contact info any way you possibly can!
I am serious, don't worry about any imagined social boundaries, the girl likes you, even if just as a friend and won't mind you calling her unexpectedly or even emailing.
The rest is up to you. I think you will be OK by the way things sounded. I really hope this works out for you.
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