A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, A couple of months ago i did stuff with this boy who i really liked, i no i shouldnt have but i did and now i really regret it and only recently he has decided to tell everybody in my year group and i cant face them, i feel so stupid and am worried what people will think of me and i just dont know why he has done it he promised me he would say anything but he has. I'm not sure whether to deny it or just say 'yer' i did it. I really need some advice. Please Help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, agony aunt j +, writes (19 March 2007):
 hi there hunni. well, you realise you have fooled around and that it was wrong to do so, and now you've been found out. well as hard as it may seem now, i can assure you that sooner or later you will be yesterdays news! Gossip with teenagers is going round everyday, people are always being spoke about and before you know it, it will be someone else everyones talking about. although the issue might pop up in the future, just ignore it and even take it as a joke. at the end of the day you have your friends and they are the ones who will help ya through it all. if they dont then theyre not your real friends at all. you can expect to be judged but hey, so what. people who judge you before knowing you arent worth the trouble because they obviously dont realise that everyone makes mistakes and that one day they will make one too. Just be sure not to make the same mistake again - you're only young and now you know what men can be like. never be pressured into anything either, only wait until you feel 100% comfortable. And as for the lad? stuff him! he's a waste of space hunni. Ignore him, show that you dont care. theres not much point in denying it in my opinion, it will just make tings worse when people find out it really is true (Which they will! i dont know how but teenagers always do, right!) just admit it but say you know what it's none of your business. you may of learnt the lesson the hard way, but atleast youve learnt it.
good luck, let me know how everything goes!
and dont be ashamed, everyone makes mistakes. youre beautiful and special and dont let some stupid boy make u think otherwise!
:):)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007): I think you are referring to having some sort of a sex act with this boy and you are under the age of 15 and probably before this had a reputation for being a good girl, right?
I think you are looking here for a way to feel better about what you did and vindication and validation that what you did was not so wrong or as wrong as the boy is for talking about you behind your back.
Unfortunately, you have learned a hard lesson a little too late about the nature of teen boys and why a girl's reputation is a difficult one to get back once it has been ruined by gossip that is actually true......it does not seem fair, but this is the way it always goes, and there is a reason for that....girl's can have babies, guys don't have that responsibility attached to their biology, and although that does not seem like a reason to remain virtuous for girls, it very much is....you don't want to be thought of as a girl who gives herself away like that so easily, who has so little regard for herself or for the potential consequences of her behavior.....
First off, don't believe what other's say about you....if they don't want to be your friend any longer, then they weren't your friend in the first place...Just simply hold your head high, and vow never to fool around with a boy you like just because he wants you to, you are too young to be doing this kind of thing....show some intelligence and class and get on with life and show you have some personal goals to achieve that have nothing to do with boys. Get active in your school and join some clubs or athletics and just keep busy and forget about this little blip in your life. If you don't talk about it or confront the boy, it will all blow over and go away, and it will be someone else that everyone is talking about in no time flat. Just remember to be more careful in the future about choosing your confidants, and don't act like a stupid girl, but behave your values and act as you were raised and would want to be treated by others, and you will be just fine.
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