A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I never thought I would be the "other woman."I had broken up with a boyfriend after finding out about his infidelity. Since then I had gotten a new boyfriend and moved to a different city. However, my new boyfriend didn't work out, and my ex had been texting me for some time. He asked me on innocent enough sounding "dates" and i said no every time. One day I thought it would be okay to go over, so I did. I ended up leaving fearful that I would make a mistake, and when I left he hugged me from behind and started fondling my breasts?!?!? I said "I don't want that" and left. A couple of weeks passed and I was about to leave to the new city in a couple of days. I ended up getting drunk and calling him, and we did have sex. It was awful, he left me sleeping on the floor writhing in pain (turns out I had an ovarian cyst) and I left early the next morning. He still initiates contact with me, even after moving 6 hours away, although I haven't been responding.I recently got a facebook back and added him and his friends, who are all my friends as well. I was surprised to find that he is "in a relationship" And had been three months prior to having sex with me. I honestly feel so awful I don't know what to do with myself. I have NEVER been the "other woman" and would refuse if I had known. I know what it feels like to be on the other side of this, and I just can't believe how stupid I am for getting with him in the first place. He has a long history of infidelity, and I had just been his victim 6 months before. Should I tell her? I know that initially she will blame me, but I honestly don't want someone else going through what I went through. I confronted him and he basically told me it was "my fault" And when I asked why he didnt tell me he said "It never came up" I feel beyond guilty, and I honestly want to tell her but I don't know if its my place. I am not concerned with his reaction or hers, I just want to know if I am in the right place to let her know. What should I do?
View related questions:
breasts, drunk, facebook, infidelity, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (14 September 2011):
 Hi,Sorry that you had such a horrible experience with this man. I am glad to know that you have moved on, away from him, and hope you continue doing so. Please, don't even keep him as friend. He's a liar, cheater by blood, and will never change. He did it to you, with you, now this poor girlfriend will go through the same pain as you did before. Sooner or later will happen, and eventually they will end their relationship. At the end she will find out what kind of man he's, and she will see his true colors. Don't contact her. I know you have good intensions, trying to help her, but it's not your place, its not your problem, and it's not your job. I also noticed that he constantly have new girlfriends? One after another. Clearly this guy has some serious issues. He's not mentally stable. What you have to do is to forget about him, stay away, never communicate with him ever again. I cannot believe you were in pain, and he just left you on the floor? Never try to help? What if it was serious, and you need to go to ER? He doesn't care about you at all. Remove him from your email, text, calls, Facebook, everything.... And never look back. New place, new life, new friends... Find someone that truly deserves you, that will love you and respect you. Good luck.
A
female
reader, michelle101  +, writes (13 September 2011):
Yes i think u should. The same thing had happened with me a few years back but i think i did the right thing by informing his gf cuz i didn't want her life to get spoiled as we both were unaware about each other. We both dumped that jerk n remain friends till date btw!!
All the best !!!
...............................
A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (13 September 2011):
 Don't bother. Just get rid of him from your life, delete and then block on Facebook.
...............................
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (13 September 2011):
I would just let this go. if people keep their legs closed and get to know someone then she'll find out what type of person he is as a whole.you shouldnt be running around stalking the dude. Why don't you finally do yourself a favor and delete this guy out of your life and move on.
...............................
|
