A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The first person that I've ever had real feelings for finished with me just over a month ago and I'm still having a hard time trying to stop thinking about him. We were only together for 5 months and I can understand why it didn't work out. We hit a few hurdles sexually - I got horrible pubic lice from somewhere (he reassured that they weren't from him and I hadn't played around either) and I had a hard time keeping concentration during the more initmate moments. I was so worried about what he was thinking about me and how I was doing that 'things' wouldn't work properly. For such a shortlived thing we had so many difficulties - it seemed that we were plagued from the beginning. He also had issues that I found hard to deal with which made me keep things bottled up in fear of upsetting him. Anyway... even though it's been a month, he's still on my mind every second that I'm awake and he's even there annoying me in my dreams. I took the break up pretty bad - did all the embarrassing/annoying ex things. I called him, texted him, went around to his house trying to convince him to change his mind. Obviously, none of this worked and I think I was so annoying that he's just lost interest in me all together and doesn't want to be friends or anything.This is so hard to deal with, I'm just a mess! I've done more of the stupid stuff this weekend and all I got was a text to say that he had nothing to say to me. It's harsh and I'm so upset.How do you move on from someone that doesn't love you anymore?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): This is very hard for me to write, because they are similar in content to the other answers and I regret doing them.My ex and I met online; we met each other face to face; everything was fine til she started seeing another guy behind me back (this happened New Year 2006, she didnt tell me til 11 Jan)Everybody (even her friends) said the other guy didn't treat women wellI knew of the other guy, so my immediate reaction was to write a message to him saying that he knew how much I wanted to be with her and how much I loved her. He said I should have gone to see her more (I thought I did!) and I didn't really love herI asked her to marry me in order to try and get her back.I begged and begged but nothing would make her come back to meI left her alone for a bit, and then in August, I found out she split up. I told her how sorry I was for the split and she appreciated that.Time went by, I kept quiet.We message each other on Facebook. Just before Christmas, she said sorry for being mean to me (for me being mean to her) and she said I could ask about the split if I wanted to, but she wasn't going to write anything down in that particular message. I gave her my mobile number saying she can text me if she wanted (she had my number before, obviously, but she barred it cos of me being annoying!) She texted me on Christmas Eve, saying Guess Who?, I replied, but no response (maybe cos her phone hasnt unbarred my number yet)Yesterday I turned my computer back on after Christmas break (I work at home) to find a Facebook message explaining why she split up with him (I didnt even ask!). She said she had a pregnancy scare (with his child) and she had to go to London for an abortion, when she told him, he just texted her once, and then refused to support her, and he couldn't handle it (her friends did tell her so!)She may or may not have another boyfriend, but I'd really love to get back with her. Any suggestions?
A
male
reader, lboy +, writes (28 December 2007):
 dear reader,i recently dumped a bf that i had been with for around the same amount of time as you and this guy, he did alot of the things you say you've done and i can say for one that him leaving me alone has made me think about him that little bit more. if he still loves you and is not with anyone else yet then i think that you should just block him out for a while it will hurt trust me i know, but it should work, but if he says plain and clear that he doesn't want you back you will have to accept that and make sure that you stay friends because if you stay friends the chances of him liking you in *that way* again are much higher than you just cuttin each other out of your lives, just dont worry to much lock him out for a little while and stay strong trust me love always prevails lol. anyway thats all i can say, good luck, and write back to let us know how things go ok.good lucklboyxxx
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A
female
reader, LouLee +, writes (28 December 2007):
 I would suggest, delete him from your life altogether...wait til he talks to you.. dont even look at him, hes not worth your attention....after a couple of weeks if you still want him back. fight with him, hit a nerve or two and he'll fight back. Truth comes out then.. this helped me lots wen i still loved my ex. after that you'll be over him pretty soon. best wishes
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): We've all done it. Don't beat yourself up over what you feel is "stooping to a new low." It's natural to fight for something that you badly want. My advice is to leave him alone. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. He's going to wonder what you are doing and who you are spending your time with, if you cease contact with him. You will hurt for awhile, but give yourself a chance. When you are least expecting it, someone special will come into your life. A door must close in order for another one to open. Be strong!
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (28 December 2007):
My answer is slowly!! I think you have to get through the embarrasing begging stage to finally get it that they aren't interested anymore. I understand that you now feel embarrassed that you did this but most people have - at least once. Try to expand your social life. Join a couple of clubs or a night class to give your mind something to concentrate on when you are not at work (always the worst time i know). Take up any offers of friendship that come from those places and just try to put your head back together. I know that the most common reaction is to find a new fellow straight away - i've done that before - but try to resist doing that as your head is not in the right place for a relationship.Build up your confidence and self esteem again and you will soon realise that you don't feel so bad anymore.You will meet someone else eventually and your heart will heal. I know that it doesn't feel like it right now, but it really will. Take carexxx
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A
female
reader, natalie_19 +, writes (28 December 2007):
heya, i don't really have an answer to this that will help you but what i do know is i'm having the same trouble with my ex, we split up and got back together twice and now he wont give me the time of day relationship wise but still friends.. only last night i did all that embarassing stuff, so i know how your feeling. I know its hard (as i can't do it myself) but as everyone tells me, just blank him and give him time to think, if he wants to know he will contact you. If not then he's not worth it, but i'm sure in time your feeling will fade and you'll find someone who loves you for who you are. Hope this helped a little.. x
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A
female
reader, fifi the1st  +, writes (28 December 2007):
hey hun. Just to let you know I have been there with an ex. I wasn't friends with him for about a year as i wasn't ready. In the same way as your story he broke up with me, except twice. I guess I just realised that he had no feelings for me anymore and tried to move on. I stopped being angry with him as it only made me more angry. I would delete his number from your phone. Maybe plan lots of things with your friends as they always help cheer you up. Don't kiss another guy until you feel ready as I was pushed into it by my friends and hated it lol. They say the only way to get over a guy is to get under another one but I don't really know is this true. I see my ex out now and I can honestly say the only feelings I have for him are just to say hi and move on. I know from the way he is though that because I did the whole texting and ringing thing once or twice that he might have lost a lot of respect for me over it. I know how you feel and it took me about a year to stop feeling upset and angry with him, it might take you the same but trust me it will happen and when it does you will feel great!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): oh honey, i wish i could give you a big hug...things will get better for you, but you need time and other friends and/or family to get thru this. get busy, go out meet new people, do things you did before you met him. it's fine to think about him and when you do, you must remember the good and the bad stuff about him. it's a memory to grow on..we have all been where you are now, it only hurts for a bit, than you meet someone else and forget or you just forget and it's not so bad when you think of him, again. take care, keep me posted.
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