A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Do I get my ex girlfriend a birthday gift, maybe a book, Starbucks gift card and small flowers with small card attached just saying Happy Birthday from me? Or what would you suggest? I want her back and just even talking again to start.I met this girl and we had instant chemistry, we went out the second time and age came up. When I found out she was much younger, 18, I panicked and lied about my age. She's not your typical girl and doesn't like to party or be with the cool people although she is super beautiful. She would rather hangout with her family. We dated for two months and it was amazing and when we had a heart to heart about getting serious I opened up and told her the truth that I'm a lot older than I said. She said she didn't care but her parents would. The next day she said she had to end things. I never met her parents but wish I did first before I came clean about my age. So now I guess they think I'm a liar and I'm too old, although I look and feel the age I mention. We ended everything good and three weeks later I'm Unfriended on Facebook. I messaged her asking why and that I respect her and miss her and can we talk? Then a week after that with no response I'm blocked. Three weeks after that my friend she met sent a long message saying I'm a good guy and age is a number then he got blocked. I love her and wish I told her. Don't know if it's her parents who blocked me or her. I have no problem getting girls but it's not about that, it's about the rare chemistry and love I feel for her. I've never felt so close to someone like her and I've had multiple long relationships before but could see myself marrying this girl if I could be excepted by her family.
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ex girlfriend, facebook, flowers, liar, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 August 2016):
 Send her a nice CARD (only!),, then, move on.....
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (7 August 2016):
Sorry, but chalk it up to experience and learn from your mistakes. It’s never a wise move to lie. It’s also not a wise move to delay when you do something stupid in panic. You should have come clean later that day or the next, as soon as you realised what you’d done. You talk about how great she is and how close you are, but she’s unfriended and blocked you. What exactly is it going to take to persuade you to go away?
This girl might have accepted it at the time when you told the truth, but I would imagine that she went away and reflected on it, asking herself the sensible question: “If he lies about this, can I trust him over anything else?” Cutting you off is her way of telling you what answer she ultimately came up with. This is not her family getting in the way: she’s 18 and can do what she likes. She could easily set up a new Facebook account or get a friend to let you know she’s still interested in the highly doubtful event that her family are this controlling.
I feel for you, because you’re paying a high price for a silly mistake, but that’s just how it goes. Now you need to take the hint and let her go. You will find some-one else eventually.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 August 2016):
 She's acting maturely about this. You are not. You're too old for her and you lied to date someone who was barely an adult. That's not okay, OP. Not only that, but you were only together for 2 months and you claim to love her - not healthy at all; actual love doesn't happen when you don't know each other properly.
Even now, you're wishing you'd lied to her longer, so that you could have tricked her parents into liking you before telling them all you lied - I don't see why you think that would work out better; you'd be telling her parents you lied to them too, not just her.
OP, let go and move on - please don't bug her any more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2016): By the way, how is she your girlfriend and you've never once met her parents? I don't think she ever got a chance to commit to be your girlfriend; because she was still just getting to know you. She didn't even know how old you are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2016): You're too old for her and that's that. Now act your age. Man-up and accept things as they are. It's not only that you lied, she doesn't want a guy she can't introduce to her parents.
If you dated for two months, yet only went out twice; you apparently met online unbeknownst to her parents. How did you fall so deep in such a short span of time? You hardly know her.
Deception is no way to get what you want. Perhaps she's so wonderful because of her beauty, youth, and innocence? Lots of older guys look for that, and that's mainly what they're attracted to. It's more superficial or sexual than anything.
You may want to cool your jets if you don't want to come across like a stalker. When you've been blocked from contact, that means that person no longer wants to hear from you. Don't force her parents to intervene. That would be messy for you professionally.
She's got a lot of life ahead of her and you're far too intense and mature for someone barely out of high school.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (7 August 2016):
 Live and learn and try put this behind you thats the best advice I could give you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2016): How many ways does she have to tell you to get lost before you finally get the message? Will she have to resort to going to court for a restraining order or having you arrested for stalking?
She has valid reason to believe you are a liar AND a creep. If you really loved her then you would respect her wishes and remove yourself from her life, but you love yourself too much to show any consideration for anybody else's feelings.
If you can't see that what your doing is wrong then I strongly recommend you seek counseling.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 August 2016):
 How about you just take no for an answer?
You are in your 30's, you lied about your age to a TEENAGER so you could date her and when she heard the truth she decided that the age gap was too big and she probably didn't appreciated being lied to either.
I suggest you LEAVE her alone.
Her parents didn't block her.SHE did. HER choice, I bet you and YOU as the GROWN UP needs to respect her choice.
And even IF her parents "made" her block/unfriend you, SHE is obviously OK with it as she hasn't tried to contact you.
Getting your friends to try and coerce her into seeing you/talking to you is crappy and shows how little you understand consent and respect.
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