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How can I overcome the fact that I can't stand being alone?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Health, Social Media, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 August 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2016)
A female United States age 36-40, *enada846 writes:

For the last four years all I have done is go out an party and get involved with the wrong people - even though these people are selfish- superficial and life revolves around their own selfish motives

I go out just to get my mind off and not be alone.

These people have been my friends or a man I was dating and apperantly I haven't found peace there- even when I went out with either or I was still miserable-

I took a month of because therapy told me to slow down but I'm going crazy- I can't cope- I go to the gym- I go on long drives by myself but I find myself crying just as meserbale as I was with the wrong people in my life.

At least when I was miserable with them I was surrounded by something - has anyone felt like this - I'm a grown women in late twenties. Does anyone have tips? I've done everything to keep myself occupied and I'm still going crazy checking social media just to try to get my mind off

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2016):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntLearn from the "wasted" years. Find what means something to you.

Help the homeless. Volunteer with animals. Get a new job or work harder in the one you have.

Remove all social media apps from your phone and do *not* search them for a month. A whole month, OP.

Google local charities in your area and apply to help out. Search for a new job. Become a dog walker for a neighbour. Fill the void, OP, but with good things that are meaningful.

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2016):

I agree with the previous posters. You’re lonely because you’re not trying to change anything about your circumstances. Great, you’ve stopped hanging around with the people who aren’t good for you, but even if they were bad for you they were at least filling an empty vacuum in your life. Now that’s being filled with nothing. The problem wasn’t that you surrounded yourself with people, it’s that they were the kind of people who will drag you down. Find a different group. Find groups of people that share an interest, whether it’s craft, worship, a walking group or whatever. Volunteer and put your time and energy to good use helping others. Fill your life with opportunities to be around people. It’s not a magic fix for loneliness but you will feel a lot better about yourself and get much more meaningful interaction with other people. I’m not against therapy in the right circumstances but I’m not convinced that this is what you need. You need to be proactive and to make yourself get out there.

I wish you all the very best.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2016):

Find a purpose. Make yourself useful. Hang around people who help others, and find some food for the soul. If you're a spiritual person, fit a little worship into your life. You may feel lonely; because you need to give of yourself and do something good. Destiny is calling you, listen-up.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 August 2016):

Honeypie agony auntVolunteer. Take some adult classes.

Be a better person. Better yourself.

Take break from social media, it's NOT reality.

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