A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:around 5 months ago i got talking to someone who i recognised, as he is a school friend of my siblings. i had never spoke to him before but just recognised him and started speaking to him, just outside a nightclub where we had both been I thought he seemed a little odd at first, saying weird things and just putting me on edge so he really didn't give off the best impression. I'm assuming some of this was down to alcohol consumption .he started messaging me about 1 month after i met him he said he never means to give off the wrong impressions and we actually got along really well , i find him really cheeky and funny and i like talking to him.since then ive met up with him twice and developed an attraction to him, i initially thought he may be attracted to me as he very flirtatious but in the past few days he said we are just pals , i dont think hes interested in being friends , despite saying he is , i haven told him i like him as i dont even think he really wants to see me and meet up and i feel as though he as lost interet in speaking to me .i feel as though its getting to the point were i need to cut contact , i want to tell him how i feel , should i and what should i say ?i feel sad as now he rarely messages me and is different with me now , but i feel like i want to share my feelings and how i feel about him , what should i do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2022): How would you like it if someone kept pushing themselves on you even when you tell them you don't want them?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2022): Please stop and think. What is the point of telling someone that you are attracted to them when they've set a boundary by telling you that they just want to be friends?
You're setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration. Just telling someone you like them doesn't magically reverse their feelings and make them like you in the same way.
He made it clear he's not romantically attracted to you, and defined your connection as "pals." That's as platonic as people of the opposite-sex can get. He didn't even use the word "friends;" as not to confuse you with the implication he wants to be your "boyfriend."
If you don't think pals is enough for you, and you did describe the guy as weird from the get-go; I think you should slowly back your way out of this.
Don't force yourself to pretend it's okay to just be buddies; when you want to be more than friends. You'll find yourself getting jealous when he flirts with other females. "Flirting" doesn't mean anything. Sometimes it's just an empty or obligatory compliment. Often wishful-thinking can misinterpret cheeky banter as flirting, and it's just a guy acknowledging your femininity.
keep things very casual, and keep your romantic-feelings to yourself. You'll save face and the embarrassment of rejection; if you listen when a guy tells you he just wants to be friends. Your feelings don't overrule his, and you can't force yourself on someone not interested in a romance with you. It doesn't mean you're not attractive, or not good enough; it means the same thing that it means when you're not interested in a guy, and have to reject his flirtations. It only means that kind of spark isn't there, and isn't likely to ever happen.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (28 September 2022):
 I don't think you should message him and tell him how you feel, I think that you should save yourself from future heartache and abolish contact with him, delete/block him and get on with your life.
It will not benefit you in any way by sharing your feelings with him, he is not interested in you. Don't be saddened by this as im sure there are plenty of guys out there that would be interested.
Delete and block him, onwards and upwards.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 September 2022):
 I think you should keep your "feelings for him" to yourself and just stop talking to him.
For whatever reason, he isn't into you as much as you are into him. He has figured out you are maybe crushing on him and he has pulled away.
Let this one go. He is not it for you.
If someone says "we are just pals" then that is a "gentle rejection".
Look elsewhere for someone to date.
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