A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I desperatly need help from the male readers to understand my husbands behaviour. We have a very active,loving(sometimes wild!) and happy sex life.So what does it tell me, if he sometimes has to sit down at the computer watching porn to please himself even a few hours after we had great sex. It really hurts me and I told him. I can understand man enjoying porn if they for whatever reason don't have enough sex with their partner and I accept him doing it (not that I understand), but shortly after having sex ....?! So what is it? What is he not telling me?Do man get bored with their wifes ?Please give me some honest answeres.Thank you so much !!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (1 December 2012):
 If he's a good guy then he will make an effort to ensure that you're satisfied when the two of you have sex. If he's getting himself off he can be completely selfish, not have to worry about your orgasm, and still have a satisfactory one himself. It's nothing to do with being bored or unsatisfed.
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (1 December 2012):
 Because a porn want and a sex want are different things. It's comparing eating to knitting. It's a habit, not a horniness thing. For the regular user he could have sex until he physically can't anymore and he'd still feel an urge to watch porn, because it's what he's always done (for the record, I don't think that's healthy at all). You have satisfied his sex want, but not his habit.
If you are not bothered by him using it other times, then this shouldn't be an issue. Porn use isn't to satisfy horniness. It's a habit and that creates a much stronger urge than just being horny.
I do have many links about this on my profile that you might find useful.
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A
male
reader, vondrake +, writes (1 December 2012):
Dear OP (and with all due respect to the 2 responders):It has been my experience that porn in a relationship where sex is definitely present is 'all about the fantasy'. Of course you may experience feelings of hurt, or "what am I not doing?" But, by your own admission you have an active, loving, happy and "wild" sex life.If I may: next time watch what he's watching with him. Even insist on it. Is it fantasy role-play? Is it a situation that you'd be comfortable playing out given the right circumstances?(e.g., ffm,mfm)If it's not involving small children, small animals or ceiling fans, use it, the porn that he's watching, for ideas.There's a commercial running now where the woman says to the husband leaving in a cab, "I made you a video. You probably don't want to watch it on the plane."Believe me, husbands never get bored with a wife like that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): Just means he wants a wank OP. He wants to masturbate and pop one out really quickly. Nothing to do with sex at all, if he wanted more sex he'd only have to ask wouldn't he?
Just because we had great sex, doesn't mean we won't want to masturbate later and have a 30 second orgasm.
He's not "not telling" you anything OP, it's just a wank. I don't see how women don't get that we can have wanks and it not be about sex or anything sexual, just a quick release.
"Do man get bored with their wifes?"
He's not bored of you and he's not sexually dissatisfied, he just wants to have a wank sometimes, and porn is as useful a tool to make that happen really quickly, as a vibrator is to a woman. That's how most of us see it anyway.
Both me and my girlfriend use porn for masturbation. It turns a 10 minute wank using your imagination into a 1 minute one. Little fuss, fast efficient and done.
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A
female
reader, babalou  +, writes (1 December 2012):
 I'm not a male, but I think you should just ask him about it. It could be a problem, but it could also be a number of other small things. It sounds to me like maybe he's just trying not to bother you with more sex. Some women find it hard to keep up with their male mate's sexual appetites sometimes, and vice versa actually. Especially with it being a few hours after, and not minutes, seconds. He's not crawling out of bed with you and headed straight for the computer as soon as you finish. He could just be in the mood again and in need for more attention. It could even be that he just needs some alone time. It's normal to want to masturbate at times rather than having actual sex. You also said it happens only sometimes, and not every time you have sex, so yeah... It really doesn't seem like a problem to me, but I still suggest talking to him.
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