A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I need to get on birth control because I heard my boyfriend is trying to get me pregnant (I'm 16 a Sophomore, he's 18 a Junior). My parents make it impossible, though. There are TWO clinics in our town that gives birth control to minors without parents permission. The one ONLY has hours when I'm in school and band, swimming, or track depending on which season it is. I can't skip because the ONE time I skipped, they called my parents right away and they went all over town and even got people from church and the POLICE looking for me. Now I'm not allowed to take the bus or Uber anywhere ever. I go to a Catholic school and all my doctor's are connected to a Catholic health system thing so I can't get birth control there. I can't even talk to a doctor or nurse in private because my mom WILL NOT leave the room. Even for the gyno, she won't leave. I can't go to the afternoon clinic because my parents work from home and never leave me alone. Even if I could get a friend to get me birth control, no one would like for me and where would I hide it when my parents search my room and even school lockers in a regular basis? I tried buying a lockbox but my mom caught me at the register and made me put it back. She said even if I had it her and dad would hold onto it for me and they would need the combination. Defeating the point! I've had sex three times and gave oral seven times because my friend's like to invite me over where there's more freedom and we can go on walks and have boys over or their parents go grocery shopping and leave us alone. So we end up (we being my boyfriend and me) alone when that happens. So I really, really, really need birth control but I don't know how to get it. What can I do to get it? I'm afraid to order it online because the last time I ordered something my parents took it and kept it and they hold ALL my money so I can't buy VISA gift cards anymore to buy things online.I really don't want to get pregnant
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2019): No birth control is 100% reliable. I know responsible adults who got accidentally pregnant. Thus if I were you, I would have sex only with guys who are mature and caring.
However, if you are going to have sex and can't ask your parents to help you, I think you should ask a different adult. For instance, you could ask your doctor privately. Or your HS counselor.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2019): Best thing to do if you can’t get protection is to not have sex...
You could tell your parents you are going to your friends and then go to the doctors? You could order protection online and then get it posted somewhere other than your parents house (a friends house or collection point)? In the UK you often find condom machines in public toilets... not sure if it’s the same in the US but if it is, then perhaps that’s an option. But if it is true that your boyfriend is trying to get you pregnant without your consent then honestly you should keep away from him. If he loves you he wouldn’t treat you that way.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (10 December 2019):
 I think that you're in a really bad situation here. You're in a relationship with someone who is trying to trap you with a kid and probably leave you thereafter to be a single teen mom with parents who will probably despise you should it all happen.
To be honest, you don't sound ready enough for a sexual relationship and your life is under constant scrutiny which doesn't help with your current sneaking around. Your boyfriend is horrible, that much is clear and you should not be having sex with someone that is that conniving. It's crazy and you're still young. To go behind your parents back would make them trust you even less should they find out so I'm not going to give you advice on how to obtain birth control and make things even worse for yourself in the long run. You don't need even more problems with your parents. Instead, I'll suggest that you break up with this boyfriend of yours. He clearly doesn't care about you and he's trying to negatively influence your life and any future that you'd like to have. I suggest focusing on your schoolwork and simultaneously, you should edit your circle of friends because any friend that could help you land yourself in this sort of a situation with a boy like that, is not a true friend. With age and with time, you will be able to loosen the grip that your parents have on you and hopefully, by then you'll know how to better navigate love and friendships. I also suggest that you do not sleep around until you're old enough to put yourself on a stable form/s of birth control without worrying about whether your parents will find out and what the consequences will be. That, only comes with age and maturity. Sneaking around is not okay and neither is it safe for you to be doing.
Should you choose to ignore the good advice that the aunts/uncles have given you here, it will be on you to suffer the consequences should anything happen. Think about your health and your future. It isn't worth it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2019): Young Lady, you need to dump this boyfriend! Why would this boy want to get you pregnant? The answer is bragging rites, in front of his other loser friends! You are still a child, in the eyes of the law. What kind of person would want to make a child pregnant? An Evil person, is the answer! Do not have sex relying on the guy to wear a condom! Guys have been known to put pin holes right thru a condom, while it is still inside the foil pack or the plastic pack! The holes are tiny and almost invisible, but sperm is microscopic, and will easily go thru such holes, to enter your vaginal canal! You must be seen by a doctor, and examined, to be put on a b c pill. All b c pills are not equal. You need to be put on the correct pill, for YOUR body! You do need to be on the pill, but I am not your parent. Stop having intercourse until you are on the pill, implant, or Depo Provera shots! Re oral sex, be careful! You cannot get pregnant thru oral sex, but you can get STDs, STIs, herpes, and perhaps HIV! Best wishes OP!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (9 December 2019):
 This is my opinion. Some of it has some research to back it.
As a father I provided education to my children , daughters and sons, because I knew that the time would soon come that they would be making these decisions themselves. I gave them spiritual as well as scientific knowledge. I also shared the advantage of what wisdom I have. Knowledge is much more effective at shielding your children from unplanned pregnancy, sin, misfortune, or whatever you want to call it. That is my #1 advice on teens and safe sex.
#2 Abstinence is a lot easier to achieve before the first time. The biological drive to sex and procreation is so strong that once started, it is rarely if ever stopped. If your parents think you are going to stop having sex they are deluding themselves. In truth there is very little any parent can do to control the behavior of any 16 year old. I only had success in pointing out where the road they were traveling on was headed.
#3 Your beliefs are more than just an imposed set of rules. If you strongly believe in catholicism you should follow those teachings to the best of your ability and seek forgiveness when you fall. If you have very little belief, then you should also be talking about that with some trusted adults.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2019): I could tell you to abstain but if your mind is made up to continue, I doubt you will listen. If there is a Planned Parenthood nearby you could try them, although I'm not sure of age requirements. In the meantime your boyfriend should definitely be using condoms. If he doesn't want to use them then please stop having sex with him.
I give you credit for trying to do the right thing and not get pregnant.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2019): OK. Think about what you're saying. You don't want to get pregnant and you're afraid your boyfriend is deliberatetly trying to get you pregnant. Why are you with someone who would do that to you? Who you can't trust? You will get pregnant if you're having sex and you're not on birth control. You're sixteen, so you're crazy fertile. Obviously I'd rather you got a boyfriend who respected you but I can't make you do that.
unfortunately no one can solve your other problems either. Also I don't know how your country works but you can't just order medicine online anyway, that isn't safe.
Having said that, I don't want you to get pregnant so here's some info.
There are different types of birth control than just the pill. There's the coil which your parents wouldn't be able to find as it's inside you all the time or the implant (although it might be difficult for you to conceal the wound you get when it's implanted.) If you do manage to get the pill can't you just put them in a tin of mints or something like that?
It's nearly the school holidays. Could you 'go to a friend's house' on a day off and go to the clinic then instead?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2019): What concerns me most is that your "friends" leave you alone with a guy who is TRYING to get you pregnant when you clearly don't want to! Do your friends know his intentions? If not TELL them!
And, I know this is going to be hard, but you need to tell an adult. Honeypie is right, he doesn't care about you or your boundaries if he wants to get you pregnant! Hopefully, the adult you tell will make sure you don't see this guy alone ever again. Please break up with him!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 December 2019):
 If you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex.
I know, I know it's easier said than done but REALITY is that you are sexually active and can even ASK your parents to be put on birth control to avoid a pregnancy.
Your BF isn't giving a SINGLE shit about what YOU could possibly HAVE to go through if he DOES get you pregnant.
Which leaves you with ONE real option here, NO INTERCOURSE. OR talk to your parents and OWN your actions.
And I don't think ANY aunt or uncle here is going to help you find a way to GO behind your parents backs either.
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