A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I hope this really is annonomous. I can't believe that I'm even writing this. I have a really close friend, OK, my best friend named Tony. I've been married a little over 5 years, and been best friends with Tony for about 3 years. We are very close and share almost all of our thoughts (only my wife knows more about me).Well, and don't ask me why because I don't know, one night we were drinking (my wife went to visit her sister overnight), and we played truth-or-dare. I assumed that we would just ask embarressing questions of each other. Well, we got silly, and started saying 'dare', before you know it, we were both naked. He dared me to touch his balls, and being really drunk I did. I didn't like it, nor did I think anything sexual about it, I just touched his balls. Well, then, being drunk as we were, my turn to give him a dare, and I dared him to put my dick in his mouth. Not to do anything sexual, but just in a joking kind of way.Well, he did, and now we are very uncomfortable around each other. I don't think it was anything sexual, but it definately was very gay and we crossed the line. How do we talk this out and just move on and pretend that it didn't happen??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): Simple, don't make an issue of it. Don't discuss it, just carry on as though it didn't happen. It's only an issue cos you're making it one. Perhaps your embarrassed because it felt better than you expected it to, and now you have some insecurities about your own sexuality. Sexuality is irrelevant here though, your dick is sensitive, and will respond to anyone touching it in a sensual way, it doesn't make you gay (though I suspect you were well aware of what you wanted when you told him to suck it). Get together with your mate, and go out and do something where you won't end up playing with one anothers bits, you need to re-establish your friendship, and re-assure one another that it's not an issue, and move on. Of course, you could always make it a regular un-discussed event.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): Make it a point to get together and have a few beers, then bring it up and joke about it. Just make light of the situation and explain that you guys just got a little carried away and laugh it off.
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A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (23 October 2008):
 Admit that you are Bi and get over it hon... Damn you bi guys can sometiomes be so self conscious about liking the same sex... what is wrong with you people?
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A
male
reader, zayn +, writes (4 October 2008):
 give yourself a break dude. according to some serious studies by psychologists, as many as 35% of all men have had some same sex experience. you two were drunk. even if you had let him suck you off, it would not be the end of the world. talk to him, but don't get too heavy.
the real question here is how much you enjoyed it. be honest with yourself. if it was not a big deal to you, then let the issue go. if it really turned you on--and to be real, it might have--then deal with the sexual emotional issues. don't label yourself!
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 October 2008):
 DiovanLestat is right, men do the strangest thing. One thing we don't do is touch each other.
It might be trivial to get girls to kiss each other and make out. Men don't. Absolutely NOT. The phobia about being gay is just to strong in society.
Try it, get to the right/wrong sort of party and see if you can get some girls to make out as a display BUT only if some guys do it as well. Not a chance in hell.
Getting naked on a dare and then to go on like this. Well, an anonoymous reader already made a one line comment that says it all.
It happened, you might want to ask yourself why, but most likely you both want to forget about it. If you both want to continue to pretend to be straight I suggest you both just don't mention it again and watch the amount of alcohol you consume.
The rules in our society just don't allow for men to act like this if they want to claim being straight.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): you guys played gay chicken, and he won - decisively.
you could try to wait for it to blow over, but he's probably worried abt whether you're into him. if you're really not (and seriously, you need to be sure - the right approach is a totally different one if you actually ARE gay), you should probably just tell him it weirded you out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): Your not gay, he's not gay, there was nothing sexual in what you was doing, there was no passion and no thoughts around sex.. IT WAS A JOKE, just a couple of guys messing around, playing stupid joke games. To my mind it's actually very heterosexual behaviour, a form of "lets see who could piss furthest" or "my dick is bigger than yours".. Admit it, you guys play these games all the time... But I bet it's "who can drink the most" or "who can stick their head down the toilet".... men do the strangest thing..
I wouldn't suggest you bring it up.. I don't know what was the point of that competition or who won or lost. Count up the score and continue the game. I don't know what's next on your list, but it will either be dangerous, stupid, embarrassing or something like that. Tell him "yes your balls are bigger than mine", admit defeat and then suggest another "dare" thing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): A drunken man's words is a sober man's thoughts...
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A
male
reader, andrew2008  +, writes (3 October 2008):
Not gonna lie but it does sound weird to have 2 straight guys playing truth or dare.
Truth or dare and drinking...recipe for dissaster
Truth or dare is about pushing the limits and imagine what your limits when drunk with your mate.
You two where clearly not thinking.
You got too drunk and did stupid thing.
I didnt something similar but my situation was to wank ourselves and see who produces the most semen.. i kno gross but those tequilas are nice.
Definately talk about it though, you will probably laugh it off.
Best friends always have their little secrets...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): We are human so stop beating yourself up. Confront him and start by saying, "We were really intoxicated and I don't want to be uncomfortable around you...lets just put it behind us and drop it" then......DROP IT! Let it go..so what, you are human you did something you are ashamed of, forgive yourself, forgive him and get busy living. good luck. xo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): well, you were obviously both very drunk...this incident doesn mean you are gay...you were just two guys having fun drinking and it got a little carried away...you are not the only people who have done things like that...i have a friend who did almost the same thing.
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A
female
reader, jstar92 +, writes (2 October 2008):
 I don't think there's any way of forgetting that this ever happened. But the worst thing to do is to avoid it, because then you're both going to be thinking about it and not knowing what the other one thinks about it.
You need to talk about it with him - at a time when it's just you two, or call him and tell him that you need to talk about it because you feel very awkward around him but don't want to lose friendship with him. Even though the thought of talking it out might be uncomfortable, the feeling of elation after you've got it out of the way will just feel like a huge weight off of your shoulders.
After you've talked about it, you never need to talk or think about it ever again
xox
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