A
male
age
30-35,
* Name
writes:Hi everyone, so yer i met this girl about a month, 2 months ago, we get on great and really enjoy hanging out with each other.Anyway we was out last night, having a good time but for the last few years i've had a few family problems and i'm one of these people that doesn't like to burden other people with my problems. I'd rather deal with them myself but this also lets them build up and get to ya. (Which i guess makes me a hypocrite since look at what im doing right now lol).Anyway we had a few drinks, a shot and normally i can handle my drink fine but i was feeling pretty crap, was even a bit sick but of course me being me i wasn't going to let her know, plus i had a load of stuff on my mind about family stuff and then i got a phone call, again same family stuff and it really got to me, i went back inside and she was pissed off because she said i kept going outside on my phone or somewhere else and she was upset that i couldn't tell her what was wrong with me. She walked outside so i followed her, we sat down and started talking, my eyes were watering and she kept asking me whats wrong, i was basically crying about this family stuff, it just all got to me at a bad time.I really like her but i didn't want to burden her with my problems even though she seems to really like me and it offended her that i couldn't talk to her, i feel like such a tit, we walked back to her place, i got my stuff and then left, she text me this morning saying she was sorry if she was interfering, she was just worried about me, she says she's still cool with me but i can't help but feel now that she thinks im quite pathetic and/or she thinks i don't trust her since i wouldn't tell her properly. Plus everyone has there problems, i know she has some problems in her family but she doesn't go getting all upset, neither do i, it was just this one time.I'd hate to mess things up but i think i already have, i just totally lost it and by trying to keep it to myself i just made things worse and hurt her even more, i don't know why im even posting this, but i've got a feeling she'll never trust me again.Anyway i'm sorry for the long read, thanks for reading/answering i really appreciate it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, A Name +, writes (24 October 2009):
A Name is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for answering, yer i understand were your coming from but im always gonna feel like if i open up im going to come off as weak etc, which i know is quite a pathetic thing to think but it's just how i am.
Yer i'll speak to her, won't be seeing her next week but i said i would text her during the week. I dunno though i think i need to speak to her in person as soon as possible just to explain things, also it will help being sober lol.
Can i ask how things are going for you? Like has this person opened up to you, or are they still trying to keep things to themselves? It's none of my business so np if you don't answer.
Anyway thanks for the answer much appreciated, it helped.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (24 October 2009):
 im going threw the same thing right now except im in your girls shoes. we are very persceptive and we know when something isnt right. and we worry whats going on and we want to help make them feel better and to support them. but if you shut us out then we feel useless and not trusted or valued enough to help you. she doesnt think your pathetic shes probally wishing she could help you and that you could let her in a little and let her help you with your probelems. you push us further away making us feel useless and wonder whats the point. dont tell her everything but make her feel apart of your life and let her know you can lean on her as she can with you. your ment to be with each other no matter what not what problems you have. if you cant talk to her about these things then their is no point because shell always feel on her toes worrying whats going on and how she can help you but you push further away. if you really like this girl talk to her let her feel apart of your life other wise you will be stranger. hope this helps aphex xx
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