A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I saw this girl out who i used to always meet up with on nights out and we'd always chat and get with each other most of the night. We never slept together or pursued it to anything more, i knew she wanted more as in a relationship, but i suppose i didn't want a relationship with anyone at the time and although i liked her I wasn't sure what it was i wanted, i enjoyed being single. But she said that being around me was hard for her because she had feelings for me and she needed to get rid of them so she could move on since she was only hurting herself being around me and hoping i'd want more. She basically just shut off all contact with me and i just got on with my own life. I knew she liked me, but i suppose I didn't realise just how much, so i respected her decision.Well that was just over a month ago and i ran into her last weekend on a night out and when i saw her she looked so beautiful, more so than before. I joked if she finally got rid of her feelings just to lighten things and she had, she said she was completely over me and she found it hard, that she didn't expect to like me that much. But we just got along so well and had a laugh, it was much better than before it was like we were really good friends, which was nice that we were back to normal and if not, better. But here's the thing, she gets a lot of male attention which i already knew, though she always ignored it and focused on me instead. So i suppose now she's free to enjoy it, but whenever I saw her with a guy talking and laughing, or even when a guy had his arm around her and they looked pretty close, i felt sort of jealous. I felt like she was over me then, In fact I actually missed kissing her and just talking, even if it was stupid drunk conversations. When we did talk, i missed hearing the random things she would say that always made me laugh, I wanted to hold her close to me and kiss her, but i couldn't because things were different now. And i did get the impression that now it's a case of if we see each other out we'll say hi and talk, but that's it with us. I just can't figure out why i would feel that way when i see her with other guys and do you think i should tell her, or is it best left unsaid considering?It doesn't make sense to me because i liked her, but i never really thought much of it and when we had the break of not talking and seeing each other honestly i got on happily and didn't really think about her. Not because i didn't care about her, just i didn't think of her much really.. But seeing her again and with other guys, even just talking makes me a bit insecure or jealous. why is that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2012): Did she physically get more "beautiful" or did she just seem more so because she isn't constantly feeding you attention? Either way, it seems quite selfish to only want her when she isn't chasing after you. She seems happy, if you're wanting a real relationship out of this, go for it. If not, I would keep quiet.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 October 2012):
 What you've described is the old "grass is always greener" syndrome. If you are like most men, you will fall for this AT LEAST a half dozen times in your life....
By the time you figure out how futile and dismal it is, you're likely to be an old dubbah, like me, and not be able to do anything about it... though you WILL enjoy the glow of knowing what an idiot you were all those past years!!!
Good luck....
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