A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I constantly seek reassurance that I'm pretty. I think that i am very pretty wen i have makeup on but wen i dont i just feel disgusting. So wen im out i carry round my makeup with me and im constantly touching it up, thinking about it, looking in mirrors. I dont wear masses of makeup but quite a bit- it looks natural tho- not like a drag queen. i feel that if men dont look at me admiringly in the street i feel rejected. Im nearly always happy and upbeat, i have a lot of good friends and family so i dont want you to think im lonely and depressed. Im very happy with most of my life its just this one thing, id love to feel less self conscious and dependant on people's admiration.any advice??? Thanks
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (1 June 2007):
 I note that you write "Im nearly always happy and upbeat, i have a lot of good friends and family so i dont want you to think im lonely and depressed. Im very happy with most of my life its just this one thing, id love to feel less self conscious and dependant on people's admiration."...it is very telling about the person you are. I don't think you are lonely or depressed but there is a fair chance that you have poor self esteem. If you liked yourself a bit more then you wouldn't really care about what other people think so much. Everyone likes admiration and compliments but you should be able to function in your life without too many of them. It is ok to take a pride in your appearance and as a young woman you are naturally experimenting with different looks etc. As you get older, the pressure to look great all the time should fade a little and you will (hopefully) come to realise that personality counts too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks :) Im sure thats true..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): Or maybe it is just a phase, it can be a really difficult time during the teenage years, and we all at those times feel insecure about ourselves and we compare ourselves to other people.
Whilst there is nothing wrong with wearing make up and feeling good about yourself, try not to think that just because it attracts men that it means you're more worth more. Any girl can put on make up to enhance her looks and get men attracted to them in that way. I think you'll feel more confidence in yourself as you get older, during this time you realise your own self worth in that it goes far beyond how good you look to men. You realise personality strengths, and get a sense of your character, and it is those things that attract good people in to your life and these people will help you feel happy and confident with yourself.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (1 June 2007):
 No, I mean there's a subconscious need for your ego to be satisfied. Generally, it's rooted in something deeper, like an experience that left you feeling worthless. Maybe you lost someone, and you miss their attention... It could be rooted in a number of things, but something caused you to not need attention, but someone's approval. You're probably trying to make up for someone's lack of approval or attention by seeking it in many people, and temporarily feeding the ego part of your brain... I didn't mean ego as in arrogance or self-obsession, just in case you thought so... Just be happy with yourself, smile when you wake up and look in the mirror, and you'll be just fine! :)
DV1
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat do u mean by ego problem? As in i luv myself?
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (1 June 2007):
It sounds like you have an ego problem, and it's getting to the point where you constantly seek attention. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you're beautiful. When you start to believe it, others will, too. Just don't get a big head about it... You don't need makeup to be happy with yourself!
DV1
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