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female
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anonymous
writes: help! i think my father hates me. my father wasnt around my whole life so when i was about thirteen i decided to meet him. over the next few years iv seen him maybe 3 times. he dosnt call on my birthday christmas or ever. he loves his other children and sees and talks to them. i try to keep in touch but he never calls me back. my father cheated on his wife with my mom,and thats where i came from. i feel like that whole family hates me and i never did anything wrong. they didnt even tell me when my grandfather passed,even though they dont talk to me its still MY grandfather too. i think it is affecting the relationships i have with my boyfriend. i constantly say sorry and he says i always look down on myself. could this be whats wrong with me? please Help!!!
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (25 September 2006):
 Can I suggest a book that you might get a lot from? It is called 'Breaking the chain of low self-esteem' by Marilyn J. Sorensen. You are not alone in feeling the way you do, it is not-uncommon for those with your background to feel the way you do. This book talks a lot about why this is, and offers very good suggestions and ways to overcome it.
A
female
reader, punkystar +, writes (25 September 2006):
Anonymous Writer-I believe you already have a good handle on your self esteem(or lack thereof)issue. However, there is nothing "wrong" with you, and don't let others tell you different. The lack of a positive male role model in your life can cause an assortment of challenges as you continue to mature. Because your Father isn't around, you probably feel like there's something wrong with you and that's why he doesn't want to see you. It makes you feel inadequate, like you are not wanted, which in turn makes all your personal thoughts about yourself to be bad. All of your imperfections will stick out to you, but in reality, it's your imperfections that make you who you are. You feel like you need to apologize for any thoughts you may have that differ from whomever you're talking to. You should never feel the need to appologize for your thoughts or beliefs. That's why they're yours. Since you are the product of an affair, your Father may feel as if you threaten his "other life". You didn't specify whether or not his current wife knows that you exist, but if she does, maybe you should think about contacting her (after all she IS your step-mother)and maybe she will have a different outlook than your father does.
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (25 September 2006):
 I would think that because you feel unwanted and let down by your Dad you feel that it is your fault and that there is something you have done to make your father be like this therefore you are worrying that if you are yourself then your boyfriend won't want you or let you down aswell.You've got to realise your boyfriend and your Dad are not the same person and start accepting that the reason your Dad is being the way he is isn't down to you or even your fault it's an issue within himself, maybe because you was produced from him cheating on his wife his guilt is getting in the way of him forming a relationship with you.#Good luck :o)
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