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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, recently I confessed my undying love to my best male friend, he is such a lovely guy it was bound to happen at some time. My problem is my friend is being unresponsive with regards to how I feel about him and I dont know what to do anymore. He stated when we first met he just wanted to be friends at the moment but has never said we could never be more in time. I am starting to think now that I cannot put my life on hold hoping that one day he will change his mind because it may never happen and well im not getting any younger. I'm out on a girls night out tomorrow (he is going to the same place with his mates) and I dont know what to do or how to act if I am approached by another man, I dont know if its out of order to one minute tell my friend that I love him then next to pull somebody else, especially if he is in the same place, because I know if I saw him with another female it would destroy me. I just miss having somebody special in my life. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 September 2006):
 You need to tell him what you have posted here, like you said you can't put your life on hold waiting for someone you may never have but until you know exactly where you stand you don't know whether to move on or just wait while he comes to terms with what you've said and see how he feels hoping its the same which it may not be.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006): This man told you at the beginning he didn't want to be more than just a friend. That's your starting point. You've been friends for some time now, and you developed feelings for him and expressed "undying love." He has not responded. If he felt the same way, he surely would have said so.
Don't play games to hope to win him over! Just accept things as they are, and IF he changes his mind, you'll find out. For tomorrow night: Don't plan ahead what you are going to say, or how you are going to act if he's at the same place as you are. Just act naturally. If he comes over and says "hi" then say "hi" back. Otherwise, you're with your friends; he is with his mates. I wouldn't go out of my way to say hello to him. If you see another man there and think you'd like to talk to him, do so! But do it because you WANT to, not because you're trying to make your friend jealous.
If nobody catches your eye, then just enjoy being with your women friends.
You are right not to put your life on hold for your friend, in any case.
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A
female
reader, Shannon  +, writes (22 September 2006):
i agree, you should act flirty and see if it makes him jealous. he mite even ask u out
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2006): Hi,
It's simple! 'turn the tables' on him. When you see him, say "hiya" - be friendly and basically normal. Make sure you end the conversation first by saying something like 'gotta go back to my mates, catch ya later' . If you get approached just enjoy it, show him he may have competion, and that you are independent and can have a life without him. You don't have to pull another guy there and then anyway. If anyone takes an interest you can simply exchange numbers if you like them. You just need to show you can be happy and having fun without him.
Trust me! play it right and clever and it will work. Sounds like he knows you will always be there waiting for him. Remember, be friendly but aloof
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