A
male
age
51-59,
*ndy hutch
writes:my girlfriend and i had a fall out. we split up for 7 days. we got together at her house to talk about our future. we both said that we could not live without each other because we love each other so much. our relationship was bonded and i was the happiest guy on the planet. the following day as we were about to cook together our evening meal, her mobile rang and it was another man. during our split of 7 days she had created a profile on facebook and this guy was an old school friend. she said she had chatted to him once on facebook for 5 mins. he wanted to take her to the pictures but she refused as she was too upset to go. my biggest heatache is that within 5 mins she had managed to secure a phone number for this guy. she said she wasn't interested in him but why did she swap phone numbers with him in a 5 min conversation. i have asked her to be honest with me and she is sticking to her story. my parnoia got the better of me and i checked her chat log. she was chatting with him for 2 hours. they were flirting and arranged to send dirty text messages to each other and communicate by text and facebook. i now feel guilty by checking her chat log behind her back and i am seriously depressed about what i found. i don't know if i should tell her that i have a print out of her chat log as i keep asking her to tell me the truth but she insists that her original story is the truth. i really do need help in sorting my thoughts i am so depressed. i don't know if i will ever trust or beleive her again. when i met her she had been out once in 5 years. she met an old mate and swapped numbers with him. this caused her to split with her previous boyfriend. she only has gone out with me for the 3 years we have been together as she has always said she doesen't want to go out with her mates. she has started going out with her mates now and these are mates who i have never seen and do not know and do not meet. am i being paranoid or is it really the end of the relationship. please please please help. any feed back would be greatly appreciated and is definately needed.
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female
reader, Lamb  +, writes (6 November 2008):
she's totally playing you. you know she's lying, you've given her opportunityto redeem herself., you may have invaded her privacy but it was based on a hunch thatproved to be right. confront her then walk away.
A
female
reader, xlovelyx +, writes (20 October 2008):
i have read your post about offerin to buy your girlfriend a new car and gifts to me it sounds like your girlfriend dont want these presents but just your love which you can understand no money can buy love. with her daughter you need to talk to your girlfriend to arrage a dinner for the 3 of you to sit down and talk to her daughter and explain how much you love her daughter and in no way will you try to be her dad, you only want to make her mum happy, explain to her that when she grows up she will understand better but she will never lose her mum to you you wouldnt want that to happen, do things what includes her and let her see how much you make her mum happy. Ask her would she prefer her mum to smile or cry. would she be happy for her mum if her mum is happy. theres not much else i can say apart from her daughter probley feels left out, arrage a weekend away just her and her daughter so they can talk things over, all the best and keep intouch let me know how you get on, my fingers are crossed for you, GOOD LUCK! x
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A
male
reader, andy hutch +, writes (18 October 2008):
andy hutch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much to both of you who took time to read and understand my issue's. you have been extremely helpful and i appreciate your views. THANK YOU.
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A
male
reader, andy hutch +, writes (17 October 2008):
andy hutch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe reason for the split was her daughter who is 10 years old said that she would not let us get married because she wouldn't live in my house. she said it was too big and she didn't like it. she is affraid of the dark and the corridors are long and dark. i said we could buy another house but she said she only wanted to live at her mums 2 up and 2 down. we did not move along with any more wedding idea's.....i said i would buy my girlfriend a new car for christmas. her daughter said that she would not travel in it because she liked her mums vw beetle that is falling apart and becoming unsafe. she asked her daughter why she was treating me like this and she was told that her daughter hated me because i was going to take her mum away. very suddenly my mum died and i was distraught. whilst waiting for 3 weeks for re-patronisation of my mum (she died in spain and was born in malta) i was home alone. i realised that i was lonely and really needed a shoulder but her shoulder was at her own house with her daughter because her daughter didn't want to come to my house. i suggested councelling for her daughter but my girlfriend said she just needed time alone with her. hence the 7 day split. to add to problems my girlfriends sister started getting jealous of the lifestyle that she was leading with me. (both her and her sister work hard but live hand to mouth worrying about how to pay the bills). i have told her that most people she knows will get a little pang of annomosity so she must not rub it in that her life can change with my wealth. she did a few tours of my house with a few friends and family and the look on their faces had envy all over. her sister encouraged her to go on facebook and created her account. her sister introduced her to 19 male friends. within 3 days she was sending dirty texts to some and what i believe to be a distaster date with one of them, she rang me and declared her undying love. i still loved her and hadn't stopped thinking about her. her sister had convinced her that because her daughter didn't like me she would have to split up with me. all my houses, cars and yacht were material things and could not replace the love of her daughter. her sister never minded the free holidays at my villas and the tours of the med on my yacht. so there it is i have come clean about the 7 day split. i have always been a gentleman. i have always put her first. even in my lowest hours i sat and cried alone at home also hurting from the fact that when i needed her most she had to be with her daughter. i never once let her put me before her daughter. her daughter was priority. i have never crossed words with her and never raised my voice at her. i accepted the split because i would not question her reasoning as her daughter had to come first. i let her sit at home alone with her daughter knowing that she was hurting and missing me. i told her when she wanted to split that i would wait at home for her and i loved her more than life itself and i would give her the space she needed with her daughter.
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A
male
reader, andy hutch +, writes (16 October 2008):
andy hutch is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for your reply.....very helpful....communication is the key.....may i also appologise for not expressing myself properly. i would never be abusive to a woman. when i was angry when i found out about him i didn't raise my voice..........would it also be possible for her to really love me whilst dirty texting another guy. it was her that wanted to get back together. also can i explain that i am quite a good looking model and get plenty of stares from other females when we are out and also being a multimillionaire i have given her lots of gifts and taken all over the world. i have showered her with love and asked if i have ever given her doubt to ever think i would be unfaithful. she knows i have only ever slept with 1 person.
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A
female
reader, xlovelyx +, writes (16 October 2008):
i have just posted simlaer post noth long back i was so paronoid about my boyfriend talkin on msn and facebook, i went in to his msn and saved his chat history so when he was out i would check it, i found he had been talkin to this girl askin for her number and even asked her to a party which i was attendin, the 2nd converstion was akin her why didnt she meet him and was she interested in him she told him he has a girlfriend (me) and he replied AND? i have asked him out right and he said him and his mate was winding her up he dont even know her or met her before but he did say if he meet up with her it would only be for a drink all because she sounded like a right laugh!!! keep me posted in how you get on but you are not alone my friend x
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