A
female
age
36-40,
*er
writes:Im away for holiday and I cheated on my bf here.I was absolutely drunk I couldnt even remember what I did!The guy just used me.I know that we didnt have sex but we did other stuff.Ive been with my bf for nearly 5 years.He's my first guy!I feel sooo guilty i dont konw if i can forgive myself for what i've done!!I love my bf(i think) im still young im only 20 so i dont know any better!Should I tell him?Or should I keep it to myself cos there's no way that he can find out about this....???please help!!
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female
reader, Her +, writes (4 July 2008):
Her is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your support and answers!
There was only my sister with me and her boyfriend but they didnt do anything.It happend 2,5 weeks ago since then I havent have any alcohol in my mouth.Im still feeling like the worst person in the whole world but I cant tell him the truth!I dont wanna lose him(i guess)i dont really know if i love me..I really care about him we've been together for 5 years!He knows me the way noone does.But sometimes I just feel like thers no passion between us...Im really confused.
A
female
reader, andyb  +, writes (3 July 2008):
You have already got some good advice.
This happened to a girl i worked with and what she got from the whole experience was that it really showed her how she felt about her boyfriend (now husband!).
Don't tell him as men find it a major betrayal when they find out their partner had sex with someone else, they can get over the ringing/texting etc. but not the sex. Unlike us women we would be more upset about the intimate things and not make a big issue if they slept with someone else.
Its a lesson learned, don't be hard on yourself.
best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Hi,
use this as a cautionary tale. Don't get drunk and out of control , if you do make sure you have close friends around you. A lot of men wouldnt have taken no for an answer and you could have been raped.
Telling your boyfriend will most likely signal the end of your relationship. So if that's what you want then tell him. But if you want to get it off your chest and still stay with your boyfriend then talk about it with a close girlfriend, someone you trust.
It was a stupid mistake, but we all make them and no one is perfect. That's simply life.
I think these things often happen when two people are together at a very young age, it is natural to be curious about other people if you have no experience outside of your current boyfriend, and the liquor and the exotic environmnet all contributed I'm sure. Just put it behind you and next time you are on holiday, make sure you arent in the same situation, or take your boyfriend with you!
goodluck.
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A
female
reader, SadieB +, writes (3 July 2008):
You were drunk, on holiday, and someone took advantage of you- so please don't feel guilty as you have nothing to feel guilty about. It's a lesson we all have to learn at some point - alcohol and men we don't know rarely go well together! You'd be surprised just how man men will take advantage of a drunken women. I would put this down to experience and keep your mouth firmly closed about it. You might make yourself feel better by telling your boyfriend, but he will be hurt, angry and humiliated, which could (probably would) spell the end of your relationship - if not now then certainly it will be something brought up in future arguments. The questions I would be asking are why were you alone? Where were your friends? Women on holiday (or even on a night out) should always stick with each and never leave each other alone. Just try to forget all about this now, best of luck, x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 July 2008):
Keep it to yourself.
This guy took advantage of you. Although
a) you shouldn't have been so drunk
b) why weren't your friends looking out for you?
If you tell him then you will feel better about it, but it will break his heart, and then you will feel worse about that. There is no good reason why you should tell him. Just learn your lesson and don't get that drunk again.
Good Luck!! xx
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