A
male
age
41-50,
*illb
writes:About a week ago I cheated on my wife with a girl that my wife and I have been having threesomes with. Now she says she wants me out she dosent love me and I disgust her. She keeps talking about her broken family I told her I'm sorry and I love her. She says I don't or I wouldn't have done what I did. Is there anyway I can fix things between us I miss my wife? I don't want to lose her any advise would be great. I don't have many people to talk to because not only is she my wife she is my best friend Too.
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best friend, cheated on my wife, threesome Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Tell your wife you will never have a threesome again. Unless its with another man that should make her feel better............. not sure how you would feel though.
A
male
reader, billb +, writes (27 December 2010):
billb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor some reason one of my answers didn't post but it was before the last one but it explained that I didn't have sex with the other girl it started after a night of hevy drinking my wife passed out and me and the other girl were still up doing shots and we started talking about how much fun the three of us had the last time she came over so we decided to wake up my wife the other so we went in to the bedroom but she didn't. Budge so we went to have some more shots and and we were both worked up and we started to make out kissing and touching whenshe started to undo my belt i told her we had to wake my wife up first if we were gonna go any farther so we went back to try to wake her up agin and she was already awke when we sat on the bed she got up and left the room I didn't even know she was mad I tryes to taik to her and she wouldn't the other girl figured something was wrong and went home and I passed out I realize I went to far and should not have done anything without my wife present and awake and know I screwed up and I know it dosnt make it right but if none of it would have happened if I didn't think my wife was going to join in
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male
reader, billb +, writes (27 December 2010):
billb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust a little update she can actully talk to me know but she is still pissed but first she wanted me to move out by the first now she says I can have a few months I tried to say I'm sorry and I loved her she dosent believe me she told me thatI would rather be with the other girl because she is youger skinnier and has apair of double d's and I want what she dosent have so I stii don't know what to do but I want to thank every one for replying to my question I have already. Cut off contact with the other girl and she seemed to understand so now all I can do is hope things work out and even tho it. Was fun I don't think I'll ever have a threesome agin its not worth it in the long run
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male
reader, billb +, writes (27 December 2010):
billb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't have sex with the other girl after along night of drinking my wife passed out and we were still awake and we were doing shots and how much fun we had last time she was over so we desided we should wake should wake up the wife we tried but she didn't Budge so we went to have another shot one thing led to another and we started making out so I told her we couldn't bang until my wife woke up so we went to try to wake her up agin she had already woken up when we went back to the bedroom the other girl sat next to her on the bed and the wife got up and left the at the time I didn't even know she was mad so I went to se wht was wrong and she wouldn't talk to me the other girl could tell Something was wrong so she left and I passed out I know that I fucked up and it doesn't. Make it. rght but I never would have done anyhing if I thought my wife wasn't gonna be in on it too
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): I've read so many posts about threesomes and the couples who promote them as 'intimate bonding between the couple". Well, I've always thought it was bull crap and here is yet another poor outcome... Yet another relationship has gone down the tubes even further because of the threesome...
Tip: If you want to bond to someone, don't include someone else. Keep it real.
Now, you've really shown your true colors for wanting the threesome to begin with... Now... you have to deal with the lack of honesty with your wife... not only with the cheating... but as it concerns the real reasons behind wanting the threesome. Good luck.
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male
reader, steph007  +, writes (27 December 2010):
She should be more understanding than this behavior. It is okay if she penalize you a bit, but this cutting off rage says me that she wants to dominate you in all respects.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): Wow,
She was game to have sex with you and another woman and you screwed that up? good luck with that...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010): You got Greedy and now u are paying the price and u should pay the price.
So the big question is: was the sex worth it?
Your wife is right: u have destroyed your marriage.
LoveGirl
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Honestly, there may not be much you can do. If she had gotten angry and yelled or threatened to leave, without actually saying anything concrete, you could probably convince her to take you back. However, if she's made up her mind, the most you could hope for would be to make her feel guilty about it later - not something I'd recommend.
Right now, you need to focus on seeing that the split is as amicable as possible. If you have kids, focus on making things as good for them as possible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2010):
You can try going to counseling if she will go. Over time she may forgive you, but it will probably take a lot to fully gain back her trust. A relationship without trust is not a happy thing.
I know having threesomes seems commonplace in many relationships today, but I think it usually only leads to problems and heartbreak and dissatisfaction when you already have a monogamous relatioship. Even for people who seek it out and think they're ok with it. As you have found out it lead to you cheating on your wife. I guess you might have done that anyway though.
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female
reader, anoymous2012  +, writes (27 December 2010):
well i think you should keep trying, no matter how many times she tells you that you digust her, just keep trying and hopefully she will realise how much you love her. If i have learnt something in 2010 is never give up on someone you cant go a day without thinking about or someone you love, so i think you shouldnt give up. tell her how much you love her, show her how much you love her aswell. just dont give up on her if you really love her :)
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (27 December 2010):
 I think the best thing to do at this point is to give her some time to get over the initial anger. This may take a few weeks to months, so you'll have to be patient.
I don't think there is a simple solution here. You screwed up. At this point you are fins have to wait this one out.
In the mean time you are gonna have to decide is threesomes are a welcome addition to tour marriage.
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female
reader, GG96 +, writes (27 December 2010):
Obviously your wife is really, really pissed off right now. She isn't going to crawl back into your arms like that. You said she has a broken family...broken how? Did her parents divorce? If so she probably has some trust issues. You trust that your parents are going to stay together forever, but that doesn't always work out. And she doesn't want to be alone like her parents were. If you ever want to get her back, think about why you cheated in the first place, tell her, and tell her it will never happen again and that you love her. And say why you love her too. Girls love that. Cheating involves lies, so you have to be honest.Besides what you did was really shitty. Why would you cheat on your wife?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): well the fact that you have both had sex with the lady should lighten the situation. You and your wife have to understand that once you have sex whether it is betweeen two people or more there is a certain kind of connection between these people. This is not to justify your action, but to make her understand that you realise what you did was wrong. You have to resolve not to do it again because you love your wife, and also to avoid all forms of a third party in your marriage as this mostly ends up ugly
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