A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a very young girl and I am married and just recently had a baby... Well I have wondered for a while what it would be like to be with another man because my husband is the only one I have only ever been with... so last night I cheated on him and it was with his best friend... and now I regret it! I don't want to tell him because I don't want to hurt him and ruin his friendship... What should I do?
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female
reader, vixter36  +, writes (28 December 2008):
you've made a mistake but don't beat yourself up about it. you will feel guilty and if i were you i would think really carefully before you decide to tell your husband. you are still very young and having a baby is hard work, but is a few hours of pleasure really worth all the haertache that could follow. sadly affairs have a ripple affect and lots of people can end up being hurt.
there must be an underlying reason for doing what you did so just try and think if yiou really want to be in your relationship and remember, we all make mistakes in life but it's best not to keep making them. i hope you sort it all out. x
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (28 December 2008):
 Hon you have crossed a boundry that should have NEVER been crossed. You should have done the investigating while you were single. Now you are a Mother and a wife. You are letting your son and husband both down. What you may not realize at this moment is YOU REALLY LET YOURSELF DOWN TOO!
I am not trying to shame you here but I pray that you can understand what I am trying to say...it is a shame. Now you have a 3rd party involved and HIS BEST FRIEND. Girl what were you thinking? Now his friendship with his best friend is at risk and definantly so is YOUR MARRIAGE. If you tell him, he may walk out. If you don't tell him and he finds it out, (his friend may confess it)he might still walk out!
I hope that your relationship with your husband is strong because it is going to make the difference in how he deals with the situation once he knows. It's a big decision to tell or not, but if you keep the secret it could be more damaging in the end. If you keep the secret you must be strong enough to not give in to those lustful feelings for his friend again. The damage you have created may be beyound repair. You will be constantly dealing with your affair every day, every time the best friend is around.
Although it took two in making this big mistake, you should consider that a man who took advantage of this affair must not really be much of a best friend to your husband to have slept with you. Think of the impact if he tells ANYONE! What happens if he blackmails you! Will you be able to deal with things if you husband divorces you! What if he leaves and takes the baby! Sorry to sound harsh, I know you regret things NOW but you DIDN'T THINK ABOUT ANYONE when YOU DID THIS except for you. This is a bit of a selfish thing to to. You wanted to fulfill your needs of the flesh. The human carnal needs. Now your family is bound to suffer.
NOW you are feeling GUILTY! That is a good sign. At least you are beginning to see how wrong it was to even think about having sex with another man,especially his best friend, much less to carry it through. The choice you make it telling him or not is entirely up to you. You have to know that there are so many ways for things to finish this story. I pray that you can be strong enough to stand by whatever decision you make. I pray that you can save your marriage and your family. Whatever happens chances are your husband is going to be in need of a BETTER BEST FRIEND......with friends like him your husband is better off without one.
You made a mistake,one that could cost you plenty. Hopefully you can think things thru and come up with a way to set it all straight. Base whatever you do on the VOWS you made in your marriage. You have already broken one and if you decide to tell him, you can ask for his forgiveness but you best be sure that you WILL NEVER do anything like this again. Pray about this situation to the GREATEST HEALER. GOD knows your heart and even why you did this. He even knows how it all will end, HIM to LEAD,GUIDE AND DIRECT YOU in your decision to make all things right with your husband.
BEING HUSBAND AND WIFE IS A VERY SACRED THING. YOU CAN REST ASSURED THAT GOD IS SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDST OF THINGS AND CAN OVERSEE YOUR SITUATION. THRU FAITH HE CAN HELP YOU GET IT ALL STRAIGHTENED OUT. PRAY SINCERE PRAYERS THAT HIS WILL BE DONE AND BELIEVE. DP WHATEVER IT TAKES TO KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE.
If you need conseling, get it. Show your husband the wife that he needs. Don't place the blame on the friend, you had a part in this too. Work daily at being a better Wife and all other things will come into place with God's help. Try not being too hard on yourself, learn to forgive yourself. You are so young and lack some of the maturity that perhaps would have been help in preventing you from making this kind of mistake. If you do tell him, remember that he may be very angry but it he loves you, chances are he will be willing to work it out. If you decide to keep it all in, remember that if he finds out it could blow up in your face. Sometimes it's best to get things out in the open and work them out. Only you and GOD truely know what kind of relationship you really have with him. Walk softly, act with reverence,be sincere and LOVE wholeheartedly. My best to you and your family. I PRAY that everything will be alright for you all.
WISHING THE BEST AND A HAPPY NEW BEGINNING IN THE NEW YEAR!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Can you really live with this secret?? I have lived with secrets in the past, because I knew it was for the best to do so. It wasn't easy...the thoughts would come up every now and then and I would have to struggle to get it out of my mind. It wasn't easy. and the fact that this was his so-called best friend, makes it even more likely that the secret may comeout.
You know exactly what the repricussions would be if you tell your husband. You would be hurting him, and your child by revealing this.
The first thing I would do is speak with the other guy and try to get him to agree that this should never be spoken about to anyone. If you think you could trust him, then let it be. And above all, Learn from this huge mistake and never do it again. Instead of wondering what it would be like to sleep with other men, think of ways to make your existing sex life more exciting and rewarding! Concentrate on your family!
I know a lot of Aunts will probably disagree with my opinion, but I know from experience that this could effect the rest of your childs life. I wish you luck and hope it can all just go away! I know the feeling of wanting to press rewind and erase a regretful action!
Please don't experiment anymore!
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!
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