A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for 7 years and in the last 18 months have found myself falling apart inside. I had an affair last year and the guilt and the nature of the person I had it with has destroyed my confidence. I like being with my girlfriend but I am not sure if this is the rest of life or not. we have always got on well and still do but I cant seem to get back on plan so to speak. We have so much going on in the next few months I dont have time to sit and think. I find this constant commentary going on in my head when i am at work or home alone and feel very down all the time. if I just get on with things and keep busy I am happy but I keep thinking is this right / isnt it right and I am so confused now as I've been thinking like this for months now. Soemtimes it seems so clear but I crippled with emotions either way I look.
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affair, at work, cheated on my girlfriend, confidence Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I think you're attributing your feelings to guilt over cheating when the real issue is that you are feeling paralyzed by your indecisiveness about whether or not to end your relationship. The fact that you cheated may indicate that although you and your girlfriend get along, all is not well in paradise. You MUST carve out some quiet time away from all of the activity and get honest with yourself. Truly examine the source of your ambivalence; if you are uncertain about the future potential in the relationship, you might need to end things. Yes, it's a huge risk and you may end up old and lonely in a house full of cats, but sometimes in life we have to step up and make hard decisions.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Guilt never goes away. I think you just need to tell her and get that burden off your conscience. Thats a tough thing to carry forever, and I tihnk it will only get worse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): Hi, this secret is eating you up because you feel guilty and I think to stop the guilt you miht need to be honest because it will just eat you up inside. Your other half might forgive you if your open and honest about it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010): How were you feeling before the affair?
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