A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I cheated on my boyfriend, how can i regain his trust?Me and my boyfriend have been together a year in April. When met in a bar, and this night we didnt realised we liked one another until our friends talked together. But before we knew this (or started dating) this girl (Danni) who liked him also was all over him. He kissed her and i kissed another guy. When we found out we both liked each other we exchanged numbers and went out seperate ways. The next night i seen him again. After alot of flirting and drinking, it was the end of th night and he walked me home. We kissed and agreed to meet the following day. After a couple of days of seeing each other he asked me out. About 4 weeks of going out he confessed his love to. And he had never been in love before, i was he first. And was scared of getting hurt. But i had been in love before. We were both really happy. The next week i find out hes going out with his mates (chris) but he was seeing dannis mate (liz). So my boyfriend (Craig) chris and his girlfriend liz, and danni the girl that was all over craig the first night i met him were going out together. Just a drive around. So i decided to go out with my friends to another town and got really drunk because of how upset i was. It felt like he was going on a double date with his mate! Anyway we spoke on the phone and argued because i couldnt get back to where i live because of having no money and being really drunk. It was our first argument and i was so upset and drunk, i thought something might of happened with Craig and Danni. So i seeked comfort to a lad 2 years younger than me. We kissed, then like a secind later i pushed him away and started crying saying 'oh my god what have i done?'. Then i wanted to go home. So my friend rang her dad to take us home. I told my mates who was there not to say anything. When i got home, i went straight to bed. The next couple of days Craig seen me nearly everyday, i felt so bad and needed to tell him, so i told him about 3 days after. He was so heartbroken, and was crying, i hurt him and promised i would never. I begged him not to end it, then he went a dive to sort his head out. Came back hours later and said he wanted to be with me. Everything was ok, over about 5 months, whenever we would have an argument he would always bring up that i cheated on him. All of the time. Then we went on a break and eventually broke up because he couldnt trust me. I tried everything because i loved him so much but nothing. 2 weeks later he wanted me back and did everything he could to get me back. And i was so happy, he said he had forgotten all about that i cheated on him, and could trust me and wanted me back. So we got back together. Nearly a year down the line, we have a huge fight, and he says he cant trust me, and that he never did, he just wanted me back. But i dont know what to do anymore? We have planned out future and everything, now this? I needed to tell the whole story and sorry its long. But i need advice and help. I just need to know how to gain his trust back? Please help me?
View related questions:
a break, broke up, cheated on my boyfriend, drunk, exchanged numbers, flirt, got back together, heartbroken, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): hi my name is jimmy i've just broke up with my gf and i cant trust her i got a new one now but i dont want her, i want my gf back. Anyway just get his number and just say what would you say if we stay mates then it might get better. I hope it works out im so heartbroken i want my gf back too.
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (24 February 2007):
 Again, it's the trust issue. If you trusted Craig 100 per cent it wouldn't bother you that Jo and him had gone to his room to pick a movie. Seems to me that Craig is enjoying winding you up. Why on earth would a boyfriend tell his girlfriend that her friend keeps on texting him because she fancies him? She's gone to Surrey now so you don't have anything to worry about.
Okay, here's my advice to you. You say Craig doesn't trust you. I say YOU don't trust him either, even after all this time both of you are still very dubious about one another. This is NOT a healthy relationship and my advice to both of you is to call it a day. It is never going to work, you are both too immature. Hook up again in 5 years time if you are both still single.
Eve
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts another long story, Basically he moved away like an hours drive from where I live, I was so worried about him meeting someone else. I even told him this and he reassures me it wouldn’t happen because he loves me. His parents brought a pub and he works for them. On Tuesday he tells me that him, his mate’s john, Harry and Harry's g/f Jo were in the pub after hours. Harry goes up Johns for a bit but Jo doesn’t want to go, so she is left there with my bf. He had told me it was just them two, I was fine with this. But then about an hour and a bit later he rang me saying that Harry had come down to the pub banging on the door, asking what went on. I mean Harry and my b/f are good mates, and it worries me that his own mate can’t trust him with his g/f how am I supposed to? The next day Craig tells me that he took Jo into his room, to pick out a film just to watch it downstairs (in the pub) then Harry came round banging on the door. He knows I don’t like him having other girls in his room and he does this. So I’m angry, we sort of fall out. Then Thursday I think it was he tells me Jo is texting him saying that she fancies Craig (my b/f) this annoys me more as I find it hard to trust girls, and I got on well with Jo and she does this to me? So I’m more upset about what is happening. I rang his friend John who was there for a brief time that night to see what's going on with Craig as he wanted some time to sort his head out. Apparently I wanted a break with Craig?! Craig wasn’t answering so I travelled up there to see what he wanted. To be with me or not. This is when he says he doesn’t trust me, and also tells me Jo was texting Craig saying come and run away with me?! I don’t know why she would want to jeopardise our relationship? Now Harry broke up with her she’s moved to Surrey out of the way and wants to apologise to me?! I just need someone’s help? Please someone tell me what’s going on. Can’t I see what’s happening? And no I have never cheated on him since that one mistake I made and thank you for your advice, I’m writing at the moment…
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (24 February 2007):
You are both very insecure in your relationship together and both need to learn to trust one another more. Okay, so he's saying he doesn't trust you because you kissed another guy. You were straight and upfront with him, you were honest enough to let him know about it and it WAS done when you were upset and drunk. (One reason NOT to drink too much!!!) That being said, you were still wrong to do that but at least you owned up to it and it was only a kiss, nothing sexual happened.
If you felt more secure about your relationship with Craig then it wouldn't have mattered WHO he was out with, you'd know he'd be faithful to you. You were drunk, jealous, insecure and didn't trust him. You both sorted it out though and it is in the past (at least in your mind.)
A year down the line you have a BIG fight. What was the fight about? Why did he say he can't trust you? Did you cheat on him with someone else? You say you want to know how to gain his trust back. I think you both need to get each other's trust back. He'll be hurting just now (as will you). Leave things for a couple of days and let him get his head around things. Send him a nice card and write in it how much you love him and would never cheat on him. (IF the fight you had wasn't about you cheating!!) Let him know it's ridiculous that you are both distrusting one another when you both love one another so much. Tell him you want to start new... afresh... no more lies, no more deceit, he is the most important person in your life and he can trust you with his life from now on if he'll just give you that chance to prove it.
Send him the card then wait...
Eve
...............................
|
