A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am so confused right now. I have a boyfriend of nearly eight months, and last week I met this guy who is totally cute who likes me back. I bumped into him yesterday and we swapped numbers, we hung out for a bit and then he invited me back to his house. i knew i shouldnt have done it, but I went back. We watched a DVD and he kept trying to kiss me. I kept ducking out and I knew i should have left, but i still didn't. In the end he took me by surprise and pecked me on the lips. I returned it, but no tongues were involved. I eventually left, after nothing else happening. Before, I was totally agaist cheating, and I have been cheated in the past. But i feel so terribly guilty and Im scared of coming clean to my boy. Normally i would, but the situation is made more complicated by him moving away to uni in a month (so i don't know whether we're going to stay together) and his flirtatious nature. I'm just confused because I want to stay with my boyfriend but i find this other guy reaally damn attractive.
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male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (10 July 2008):
 It's not exactly the affair of the century, is it?
Would I be right in thinking that you feel guilty not because of what you did (which is almost nothing) but because of what you would like to have done?
If you really want to stay with your boyfriend and this incident really meant nothing, then I would suggest you say nothing. Yes, it's cheating, but it's so minor that it's not important enough to upset him by telling him and damage your relationship.
But is that the issue? If you really have feelings for this other boy and you think they are returned, then you have some very important decisions to make. What I think you really shouldn't do is to carry on "cheating" or heading towards cheating while your boyfriend is away. You can't make up some sort of justification for it by saying that he has a flirtatious nature and implying he will probably find someone else when he's at uni - either you have a relationship with him or you don't.
You need to think it over carefully and decide what is really important to you - then make that decision and if it's not your current boyfriend you want then you need to let him know.
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 Life is an experience, when you experiment you learn and when you learn-you grow.
I believe that if there's love, the will, the situation or the need for cheating won't be present in your life. I think maybe there's something missing in it, something that makes you want to look somewhere else.
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