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female
,
anonymous
writes: I feel so messed up really, and I really don’t know what to think. This might be long, and maybe no one would read it, but I always find things better when I am able to write them down. Well the thing is that I have been with my boyfriend now for just about seven months, and its all going good and stuff. I been over his house, met his family, but he has still not mine, because still not a good time for my family. Too busy at the moment, but he will in time and he knows that so that’s OK. Well let’s call him Axe. Axe has been my first boyfriend. No one else actually interested me. Axe is a very nice guy caring and loves me very much; he has some problem with depressions. He could be down at time, which I understand because he told me of it the first time we started talking. Well I meet Axe not in person, but online which is different and I was not expecting it but stuff happens. No one really knows where we meet excet for my young sis and one of our friends, because our parents would kill us. I talked to him for couple of months before even going out and I took the right precaution when meeting. The thing is that I never consider myself to be a cheater in anyways, but I guess you learn something about yourself every day. I went out with someone not like a date or anything, just friends. I meet him sadly to online such as, Axe let's call him JD. I meet like in person like over the March break, and like Axe talked to him a couple of months before meeting. We were to meet like over the March break towards the up coming week we did not talk, so I thought OK, it's not going to happen, and I was OK with it because in a way I don’t think I trust myself with him (had a connection, not on a over all physical level, but mental level). He sent me an email asking if we were still going to meet or what not, and I call him to tell him I was. I had surprisingly a good conversation with him, which is a surprise because I am not really a phone person. Anyways I went out with JD went skating, got something to eat, and the movies and we ended up kissing more than once, which I know is so bad, and I feel bad about it. The thing is that when we kissed I felt a spark, which is not there then ever I kissed Axe. Well I thought so. Well before going out I made sure he know it was like only friends, because I had a boyfriend, and he understood that, but I don’t think he like to think about the idea that I have one. Etc etc, time passed did not talk for a while, because we were both busy, but we still talked whenever he called or I did. Well I don’t know why but I went out with JD again, and I know I shouldn’t, and something even bad happen. Well I been going out with AXE now like 7 months and we are intimate, not like to a great extent. We have never had sex, I am a virgin, and he is not. We came close sometimes, but I never really wanted to , and he was OK with it not pushing me in anyway, because he not like that. Well I went with JD, and the day did not turn out as plan he was kind of busy. So we did not end up going out as planned, just stayed at his place watched a movie, and order pizza, because felt too tired to cook. Well the thing is I end up becoming more intimate with JD than with Axe, going far farther than with him. Long story short I am not a virgin anymore, uumm. Well It was nothing like I was expecting. He not like a creep or anything; he a great person, and did not hurt at all, one bit in fact, compared to the thing I heard from others. Well I don’t know what I was thinking. I am always a person to think things out. Why would I do something like that with JD, and not with Axe, which I know far more longer and have feelings for?? It really just seem like nothing to me when it happen. I was still asking my self "did It happen"? I don’t know what to think. I guess the right thing would do is to break it off with Axe, but I don’t know. I talked to JD and he ask where do we want to take it (like friends or what), and I could think. But I know what I have to do I think ummm . Things like this just don’t happen to me and I don’t know.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2007): hey i have done the same thing i cheated on my boyfriend and he has given me a second chance but like you say i go further woth the guy that i cheated on than i do with my own boyfriend. i am going to stay with my boyfriend but i know that its going to take time for him to trust me again. if you want to stay with your boyfriend then you need to sit and work it out or rather just go to this other guy.
A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (14 April 2006):
 Hi
I can't tell you exactly WHY you cheated on your boyfriend, it's different reasons for different people. What to do. Hmmm... First thing is to obviously decide who you want to be with. Axe or JD. If it's JD then come clean with Axe and let him down gently. If it's Axe you want to be with, then tell JD everything and let him down gently too. If you want to be with Axe you stil, have to come clean. You can't have a relationship built on lies, even if it's only one. Who knows, this could make you two stronger.
All I can say is .. Listen to your heart. Hope all goes well and Please e-mail me back to tell me how it goes.
All the best,
Phoebe xxx
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A
female
reader, heavenlyluvlyangel +, writes (12 April 2006):
Well your the one who has the control of the situation. Its you who decide who your much happy to be with. If you think your more comfortable and happy with JD then maybe his the guy for you. I know this would hurt Axe but you need to be straight forward with him. Don't be in a relationship that your not happy with because you'll just end up cheating on him. Why don't you try sorting this out first and think about what you wanna do with your love life. But think twice because once your mind is made up, there's no turning back and you don't want to end up regretting it later. Goodluck and hope everything goes well with you
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (11 April 2006):
 This situation is a big one. I hope you know how badly this will hurt Axe if he finds out. Imagine someone with 1 cookie... they show you the cookie and you want it but they don't let you have it.. days go by... weeks go by.. and finally they give it to someone else. This is worse than say if they had a bag of cookies.. and they gave you some and then handed one to someone else.. This is bad and devastating.
The only thing i can say from here is.. Who do you really want to be with? Who do you have more feelings for? I know you knew Axe for longer, but do you like JD more? or is this just a physical thing between you and JD? You need to answer those questions before you really decide what to do. Now if you want to stay with axe.. hmm.. this is hard because to me I would say to be honest with him.. which may mean he won't want to see you again or won't want you to see JD anymore. But you may want to wait for a few other Aunt/Uncles to answer on this one if you wish to try to stay with Axe here.. But you may want to ask yourself those questions I gave you. To me, it looks as if you are leaning towards JD but that is just my take on what you wrote.
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