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female
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*3ath3ater
writes: i cheated on my boyfriend and really really hurt him. i love him, but now he thinks that i dont. i dont blame him, but i still want to be with him and want him to see that i love him. how do i fix this?
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male
reader, malaysianfeet +, writes (25 January 2006):
Sorry, but cheating in examinations means disbaring or even expellation. cheating in business means a hefty fine & perhaps a custodial at a correctional facility.
Now cheating in relationships isnt an offence. There is no punishment. The ship in the relation has gone under. Sunk.
Get yourself a new boat.. err a ship and stir it clear out of rocky shores.
Was his pride hurt more than his heart? What if the shoe had been on the other foot? Would you have forgiven him? If he cant forgive you, then what kind of guy do you think you going back to? He was hurt. Now what? He hates?
You didnt cheat. You did some indiscretionary action on your part. Now he is playing the role of judge, jury and executioneer? Much have been some underlying issue all along. You sure he didnt do the same thing? He seems to be in an awful hurry to dump you. Doesnt this strike you as odd? A man truly in love with you would ask hmself - what was his role in bringing the matter to the extent on your having cheated on him. He would have loved you enough to ask you. At least that much he would have granted you. So here he was perfect and you did an UNFORGIVABLE thing. Fishy to me. Please carry on with your life.
A
male
reader, Brian +, writes (22 January 2006):
You love him...? You... love ... him ... Sorry to break it to ya, but, no, you don't! Otherwise, this would have NEVER hapened! Drunk or not, no ammount of alchohol can change your heart - none! Your lucky if this guy even talks to you! When my ex cheated on me, she slwpt with some random guy she was totaly into - but claimed she still loved me! But that was BS, and she admited to it! Love is much thicker than lust, and when you subside to lust, the love wasn't thick at all, therefore, no, you never loved him. You only thought you did, and now, only think you do out of guilt, you feel disgusted in yourself, and elling yourself you still love him gives you some sort of comfort, but you know, that given the chance again, the lust will build up, you'll fanticise about MORE guys, and it will happen again. perhaps, you simply arent mature enough for a real relationship, and you have a bit of thinking to do.
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A
female
reader, d3ath3ater +, writes (7 January 2006):
d3ath3ater is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim not using it as an excuse. it is just keeping me from knowing what the hell was going through my head. i take full responsibility for it and am not blaming it on being drunk. i just wish i could know what was going through my head.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2006): I'm so tired of people using alcohol as an excuse. Neither you're weak minded or not.
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A
female
reader, d3ath3ater +, writes (6 January 2006):
d3ath3ater is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe reason i dont know why i cheated on him is this: i was so drunk at the time that i dont remember anything. and i dont have to ask myself if i love him. i can tell by the feelings i get when im with him. i just need to find a way to help him see the love i hold in my heart for him and to find it in his heart to forgive me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2006): Put yourself in his position, you'd be so hurt, you'd probably even finish the relationship.
First off, ask yourself why you cheated on him, is it because you're bored of him, or you're in love with someone else. These are bothe perfectly natural circumstances.
Tell him to his face that your sorry you cheated on him, and you still really love him.
Take him out, and show him affection both in public, and not in public. It will take time for him to recover his love and trust to you, but if you keep treating him like someone you really love then he will come round.
My best advice is *DON'T CHEAT ON HIM AGAIN!*
Sadly, he may not come round, and you may have to finish the relationship. If this does happen, bear in mind it's not really his fault, so don't get annoyed with him.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Melittin +, writes (6 January 2006):
This is why I get so confuced about women. gosh, why did u cheated on him. There is no need to cheat and hurt this guy, he is probably a mess by now so don't hurt him more and leave him alone.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2006): The first thing you have to do is try to understand why the affair happened. Until you do, you won't be able to put the past behind you and move on.
if you really cared about him how could you do this to him?
maybe some part of you really wishes for something more exciting.
is this boyfriend really worth the trouble?
basically just ask yourself this
if i loved him, why would i cheat on him?
if you cant answer than your probably not as in love as you thought you were and maybe its time for something new.
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