A
female
age
30-35,
*arie23
writes:I cheated on my ex bf for about a month in April. We lived together 5 out of the 7 months we were together. Things got really difficult because he was having financial and family problems while i felt we were drifiting away. I realized our flame had died between us and tried to bring it back but things just werent going the way i wanted.I loved him dearly but I cried every night to sleep knowing we were falling apart i never wanted to end our relationship and i no he didnt either. Instead of facing this problem i ran into another mans arms.i felt horrible and pathetic but i kept going back..and i tried for weeks on end to tell him by subtly bringing up if i cheated what would he do or by leaving the text messages in my phone for him to be tempted to look at...i eventually told him because i couldnt take it anymore. He was obviously upset and said he figured it he just couldnt get the proof. I told him it was a mistake and i could never do it again but he says he cant believe me and i undertsand. He says i need to prove to him that i'm not that person anymore and learn to trust myself before he can trust me. We have been broken up for over 2 months now. He has sent me mixed signals..first he told me he only cares for me as a friend, then a month later he says he still loves me and dont worry we just need to take things slow...and now he has said theres no feelings right now and he just wants to be "F.. buddies"..We have not really stopped talking since i told him which i no isnt a good thing but i miss him and all i want is to prove to him that this has broken my heart for what i did and i wish i never did it. He has been cheated on before and I have apparently made it the last straw for him. I know he still loves me..not alot but theres still something there otherwise he wouldnt tell me to prove all this to him..what do I do? We are both on summer break for college and we go back in 2 weeks..how do i prove my trust and loyalty to him? should i leave him be and let him come back? I am afraid if i do he will forget about me..I just want him to give me the chance becasue i made a stupid, huge mistake and i loved him and still love him with all my heart i was lost...please help me.
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (30 July 2009):
 Give it up...Not only did you cheat, you continued to and thats about as selfish as it is. Jeeze only 7 months together and you do this? Nice.
Only ACTION on your part will ever hope to win him back.
And you are worried about the fact that he gives mixed signals? You spread your legs for another man and you tell him you love him...how's about that for mixed signals!
If its been two months, I seriously doubt that he will ever trust you enough to let you back into his life, he has no time limit to grieve for what you did to him. And the mixed signals on his part is because forgiveness is way overated, and its natural considering the circumstances.
Id give it up.
Nothing personal, but I hope you learned your lesson. Every word you can say to him means nothing unless you back it up...Should have thought about all this huh? yep.
A
male
reader, jj. +, writes (30 July 2009):
move on ...one the hardest things to come back from is adultery...cheating for short..put your self in his shoes ..how would you react..he doesnt trust you anymore..
you sleep with another guy for 30 days move on..
there is one way you can possibly do it ..thats make a comeback...let go and let God and go to your exboyfriend with this..tell him your going to go to counseling and
then you both go talk to a clergyman and ask him how you can
bring your relationship back together..work at it ..if the boyfriend is willing to work then work..but you have to really follow thru ,if not your going to lose him..
ive seen this work but you have to get real..
pray and believe..miracles can happen..
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A
female
reader, Marie23 +, writes (30 July 2009):
Marie23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have constantly told him how i feel. Told him that I loved him and still do. I want to be there for him, i even drove 6 hours this past weekend to see him for his birthday...but he said the same thing. right now his feelings are nothing more..he said that doesnt mean we wont cant ever be together...and now i just feel like giving up. Im so hurt because i want to prove to him with everything that he can trust me again...im willing to do anything...
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 well he cant believe you because it wasnt a one off it was repeated. think how you would feel if you were him hes heart broken and doesnt know what to do. also he was having problems and you ddnt help him you made it worse you should of been with him and not someone else but you have learnt that now or atleast should do. he either will or wont trust you and if he cant then their is no relationship. give him time and tell him that if their is anything you can do to help him prove that you wont do that and your different then do it but dont jump backwards over hoops though! rifraf has valid points ! youve made your bed now you have to lie in it and see were it goes. talk to him communication is the key. tell him how you feel and ask what you can do ! people can be forgiven but if you ever cheat on him again you will break him so becareful that your ready to not do it again because you will hurt him in more ways than you can imagine. good luck hun aphex x
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