A
male
age
51-59,
*ustmeScarb
writes:Almost 2 years ago I cheated on my wife. I meet someone on a chat site and fell in love with her (long story). Less than 2 months into the affair my wife catch me. I broke it off with the other woman eventhough she begged me to ran away with her (she is also married). The reason why I didn't go with her was that I wasn't sure about her(remember I only knew her for less than 2 months) and I was a chicken sh*t. We had no contact for 2 months after being busted. I recontacted her because I missed her so much and realized that I loved her. She took me back. A month into our renewed relationship I told her I wanted to be a father. She did not want anymore kids (she has 2 grownup sons). I decided to have one with my wife (my daughter is now 9 months old). We carried on the affair through my wifes pregnecy. When my child was born, she (the other woman) decided to end the physical relationship. I protested to no eval. The problem is that I am deeply in love with the other woman and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I wish I could go back in time and run away with her like she wanted. I am not in love with my wife but don't want to ruin my daughters life. The other woman doesn't want to be with me anymore because I had a child with my wife. I love the other woman so much that I might be willing to give up custody of my daughter (which I love to death) so she will be with me. My question is 'What else can I do to get the other woman to take me back?'. I love her so much I can't live with out her. Help me please! Yes I'm still married.
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male
reader, JustmeScarb +, writes (26 January 2011):
JustmeScarb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn answer to Gamine: I am not like a teenager chasing around puppy love. My mistress told her hb that she doesn't love him anymore and will be talking to other men. They sleep in separate rooms and she is getting ready to leave him once she has enough money saved up to go on her own. She said she warned him and me if the relationship is not working out that she will move on, but tell us in advance that she is.The first time we were busted she wanted me to go to her. She would leave her hb right there and then, then make plans for our new lives. I chickened out. She was still willing to leave her hb for me until up to the point my wife got pregnent. She could have dumped me when that happened but she stuck with me. She loved me! I was an idiot for not being a real man and leaving my wife before we decided to have a child. It was wrong of me to have a child with a woman I did not love fully. Now I'm stuck in a loveless marriage(on my part olny), without the woman I love. I feel pathetic. Somebody help me please!
A
male
reader, JustmeScarb +, writes (25 January 2011):
JustmeScarb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn answer to ex-Mistess: Yes my wife loves me very deeply, well at least until recently. She is very good to me and would do anthing for me. Unfortunately I'm not in love with her and will never be. To me she is only a safety and comfort zone. I am not happy with myself and wish I could lover her like she wants me to (Yes I've tried for many years). We've been married for 14 years. Our marriage has never been great. For the longest time we were the whole world to each other almost (neither of us had any real friends). We stayed home together all the time with almost no social life. I am not physically attracted to her (she has never been my ideal woman). For 6 years of our marriage we didn't have sex. She was my first real girlfriend and I think I only stayed with her cuz no one else would date me. All through our courtship I was more attracted to some of her friends than I was attracted to her, but I never acted on those feelings. I'm not a cheater by nature but I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to be with a woman I was attracted to and had strong feelings for and that's my lover. The word 'commitment' means alot to me especially when it's to the right woman, and that woman is my lover and not my wife. I do take responsibilty for my daughter. Yes, I may have kept my lover in 'reserve', which was wrong of me. I want to commit to my lover 100% if I can get her back. I need help in that. If you want more info please private message me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): The simple fact that the "other" woman now doesn't want you because you have a child is BS!! She is no good for you. Once you get into a "real" relationship with her, you will not be happy. It's the fantasy of it all that keeps you going and wanting her. Believe me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): hi im the ex mistress.. Can you tell me the side of your wife's story..coz i still dont know her side. Im sorry to hear your story. Does your wife love you? it sounds like you just made your lover a girl on reserve.. Like when your baby has all grown up you come running to your lover again.. When there is no love with your spouse you come running to your lover again.. As for me you are like using me! If i was your lover. of course i will try to move on if thats the case! You dont really value the word committment huh?! And the word responsibility?! You know the meaning of these words? Because once you make decision live with it! Like deciding to have a daughter. Deciding to be married.now deciding to be with your lover.. Now i will try to help you..im still thinking.. Did your lover was firm on her decision that she will not accept you anymore?
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A
male
reader, JustmeScarb +, writes (19 January 2011):
JustmeScarb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn answer to LoveGirl's question: No, my lover is NOT an old cow and yes she just recently became a Grandmother. No her hb doesn't know about us and I think one of her kids knows abit. I am Not trying to give up my child just to have sex with another woman, I love her with all my heart and soul and will give everything up for her, she is everything to me. For me in love, age within reason of course doesn't matter. Unfortunately she has told me that she can't forgive me for having a child with my wife and that she doesn't love me anymore and that she has moved on with her life. I just got off the phone with her begging and pleading with her and telling her how i feel, but to no eval. She still will be my friend but as it stands now, I'm alone in love.
In answer to the ex-mistress's question: If my lover took me back right now, I would start the paperwork right away. Told my lover this on the above phone conversion. I told her that I'm all her's and that all she has to do is say the word and I will leave my wife right away and start our new life. I did tell her that I would give up custody, but as expected she said she would not allow that even if she took me back. She doesn't want to be known as the one who told a father away from his daughter. I knew she would not allow this but I put it on the table anyway to prove to her how much I loved her.
Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to death, but I love my mistress so much it hurts. My life is a real mess right now: my marriage in ruins, I got laid off my job, I'm depressed.
I just want to love my Mistress with all my heart and soul. Give her all of me, make her the happiest woman alive. I'm empty without her. I just want her back!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): Why do you want an old cow in the form of a mistress when you can have a younger wife. Your mistress is almost a GRANDMOTHER. You kid is almost a newborn (9 months old).
YOU do the maths!!! This woman is a few years shy of 50!!!!
You are married, your lover is married. Does her hb know about you? Does her kids know about you?
Why do u solve this mess so that your wife and baby can get on with their lives. I think you are giving your wife a raw deal. You want to abandon your child just for sex with another woman. You 'forced' your wife to have a baby and then when she had this baby that you two created, you just throw them both away? Why were you so cruel. You wanted a piece of you (meaning a baby) then you decide to throw her away. This is your flesh and blood. How can you stoop so low?
LoveGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): hi i like your story.. Because i too was a mistress.it hurts when there is child involved. What if your mistress will take you back.. when will you start the paperwork? did you tell your wife that you will divorce her? Did you talk with your wife about the custody of your daughter? if not then you are not ready to divorce her.as a mistress it hurts to be dragged on with all these complexities.. It is so depressing.but what can mistresses do when we are already in love with you!
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A
male
reader, JustmeScarb +, writes (18 January 2011):
JustmeScarb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for answers. Maybe I was too hasty to say that I would give up my daughter. My Mistress would not allow this to happen anyway and I love my daughter too much to do it, but I still would give everything else up to be with her. I don't love my wife but I still had a child with her because my lover didn't want one because of her age and she said she was done with raising children. I am 42, my wife is 36 and my lover is 46. The only reason I'm still married is that I think I'm afraid of being alone and my family disapproving (especially my Mother). If I can get my lover to take me back then I will have the courage to divorce my wife. I know I seem to be a man of poor character but I have always been a good man, I just married the wrong woman. I really really want to be with my Mistress but I need her to be back onboard with me again. I should have runaway with my lover the first time we were caught, I regret that, it would have save eveyone so much pain. For the record my wife caught us a total of 4 times over the 2 years and my wife still stayed with me. I wish I did love my wife still but I don't. I love my Mistress so much that I know I will never cheat on her. If you have anymore questions please feel free.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): So let me get this straight:
You want to give up custody of your baby girl just so that you can be with your married woman? You want to abandon your baby. This baby whom you wanted in the first place?
You instigated this pregnancy. You wanted this baby, now you want to throw her away? This speaks volumes of you as a father. Let's not even discuss your failings as a husband.
You know what, on second thought, yes please cut off all contact with your daughter. If she grows up not knowing you, this will save her heartache and pain in the future. I think your wife should be made away of all your plans immediately.
LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): if you really want your other woman bck.. You have to make up your mind. I f you want her back then why are you still married? You are like playing tug of war.. The reason why she is strong of her decision not to take you anymore it is bec. You are still married. The reason why she didnt want a baby with you bec. You are still married and even mde another baby while you are in a relationship with her..make up your mind! there is a saying .. You will never know the ripples of your decision.. Divorce your wife if you dont love her.and be a great father to your children.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): You dont need help my friend u know the right thing to do and without asking anyone do what right for u and ur family
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