A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am currently deployed overseas, my wife is back in the states. i had problems with being faithful a while back but i completely changed the way i was so it would never happen again. well everytime i call her, she never sounds excited to talk to me and she's always going out with people i don't know. and is lying about being out when she is. i realize i made a mistake and am working very hard to prove myself to her, but when this happens it makes me just want to say "F" it and go out and find someone to get with. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): I am the wife of a soldier who is currantly deployed..he has given me every indication that he has cheated on me, but I havent cheated nor will I.I agree with the previous poster about deployment being very hard for both the wife and her husband...take my advice I am going thru this with you buddy..just wait it out til you get home!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Feels terrible, doesn't it? I can't condone what your wife is doing, but the fact that you have cheated on her makes you more suspicious because it is behavior you are familiar with. Wether or not she is cheating, the best thing you can do for your relationship is assure and tell her how much you love her, alot! Perhaps it will get through to her...for all you know, she could be playing games with you and trying to make you pay for what you did.
With the little information you have given us, it is impossible to give you answers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Aw thats sad. talk to her about it ask her before you make any drastic decisions... For all you know shes not cheating at all and there is just somethin else on her mind. communication is the key. talk to her. you'll be able to tell from her response anyways.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): yea your right. it would be pretty childish to do something like that..
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 June 2009):
 Revenge by cheating is NEVER a good idea and is always the wrong answer. You cheating, especially based on the assumption that your wife is, makes you just as much at fault as she is. While I can't tell you if your wife is being unfaithful or not, there may be other issues going on and she may be staying faithful. I don't know how much longer you're going to be deployed, but I definitely recommend waiting until you're home, can see her and can talk to her to take drastic action.
Being deployed must be incredibly hard on you and on her - you are both dealing with the stress of the deployment and whatever problems your marriage had before you left. While I think that she is being 'less than' as a supportive wife, an her lying and actions are sketchy, hooking up with a random woman won't solve any issues, won't make your wife any more solid or trusting and will only fuel the proverbial fire. Be the bigger person, be a man, be a husband and stay faithful. When you return home you can get the full story and if you are just not right for each other, end it. Then you are free to get with whoever you please. But until then, keep it classy.
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