A
female
age
26-29,
*isa
writes:im 14 and im 19 weeks pregnant everything is ok and everyone knows but the problem is that the baby might not be my boyfriends. he doesn't know that she might not be his and i feel awful he is getting all exited he can't wait. i had sex with this other guy only a few days before i had sex with my boyfriend please don't judge me im not a slag it just happened worse the other guy is 19 and would probably get done by the police, he knows im pregnant and wants to have a DNA test because he wants to be involved in her life if she is his. it will break my boyfriends heart if he found out i did not cheat on my boyfriend we broke up and i got really drunk at a party and had sex with the other guy then me and my boyfriend got back together only 2 days later and had sex we felt we were ready. i used protection with both guys. i don't remember which day i had sex with either of them. please help only my best friend knows about it and i really don't know what to do
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female
reader, Aisa +, writes (2 July 2009):
Aisa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe baby is not his, the test results came back on monday. im pretty upset but at least she has a father, the 19 is taking on the responsibility as a father to her. he is helping me finacially and will help look after her. i guess maybe its better that the truth came out, im just upset i hurt my now ex boyfriend. but i can now relax and start thinking names and nursery colours and clothes
A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (20 June 2009):
 You did the right thing. The secret would have eaten you up inside if you hadn't told. I hope you get the result you are looking for. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, stay healthy.x
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A
female
reader, Aisa +, writes (19 June 2009):
Aisa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe wnats the DNA test, he is gone if he isn't the father.
thank-you i knew i had to tell him the truth
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Do what you think is best its not up to anybody but you, this is your life. Deep down you know what is right whether it be telling everyone or not..... you know what to do... just think about it for awhile before you make any drastic decisions.
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A
female
reader, pebble +, writes (8 June 2009):
It is unfair to your daughter and your boyfriend to lie about being certain who the father is. And it will come out eventually because this other guy wants to be part of your babies life, he isn't going to just go away.
There are also a few situations in your daughters or your lives were the truth might come without you wanting it to. For example (and I hope this never happens), should your daughter need a kidney or other bodily items such as bone marrow transplanted and your boyfriend steps up. The doctors would be able to tell whether or not he is a match for her. If not, the truth will come out.
Of course, that situation is unlikely, but not impossible.
If the men were only within a few days of each other then it's impossible to tell without a DNA test. It's going to be hard on everyone but everyone has the right to know the truth. You're about half way through the pregnancy now, but there's still time to let everyone who needs to know and for them to calm down and let it sink in.
Do what is right for your daughter, she deserves the truth. Men can come and go but you will always be her mummy.
I feel for you as I am 13 weeks pregnant myself, and cannot imagine what it must be like to carry a secret around with you like that. I really do wish you all the best.
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A
female
reader, Aisa +, writes (8 June 2009):
Aisa is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni would like to say that to the person who said give up your baby, honestly i will be able to look after the baby i have my mum and dad to help me. she is mine i already love her too much to give her away
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Thats so sad... Dont give the baby up for adoption that is stupid and you will regret it for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Its your baby a part of you. I would just let your boyfriend think that the baby is his dont tell anybody else dont get the DNA test and leave it at that. thats whats best for everybody. Seriously though dont give the baby up it could end up with a family that beats her sexually abuses her or doesnt care about her. Shes a part of you dont listen to what anybody else says you know whats right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): 14years old...you are so young...Have you considered giving up the baby for adoption? You don't seem ready to take care of a baby if you can't even take care of yourself at a party...think about it... you will be a mother FOREVERSince you are a minor the 19 years old guy could end up in trouble if he goes to the police...I'd make him know if I were you...Best wishes
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