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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a fantastic relationship with my bf and we love eachother very much. However, the things that used to be important to me (nothing to do with relationships) no longer are. I used to be very ambitious and had very definite plans on what i wanted to do with my life, but now I'm content i don't crave any of that anymore. I've always loved music and wanted to make a career out of it, but since we've been going out I've stopped practicing my music and stopped writing songs etc. It's scaring me that i no longer feel passionate about the things that used to dominate my life. It's not even like he's discouraging anything I used to do, i just centre my life around something else now. Is there anything i can do that won't affect our relationship?
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (18 September 2006):
 Haven't we all been here!! where nothing else seems important or matter anymore because you have something far more special that you want to cherish! You need to have your interests not only does it keep you into the things you love and enjoy, it gives you space and time to yourself which is always much needed even though we don't think or feel it is, but it also gives something else for you and your partner to talk about together, sharing your loves and passions with the one you love.
A
female
reader, Amethyst  +, writes (17 September 2006):
 Well, what it's coming off like is you've gotten a bite from the love bug. Nothing else seems to matter anymore, other than him being happy, and you being around him so you can be happy. It happens to the best of us.
Give it a little more time, then you need to get into other things as well, but still give your bf plenty of time... just not every moment of it. That'll cause arguements and such in the future, if you spend too much time. You were passionate about music? Why not write him a song? That way, it's two passions tied into one?
Maybe after a bit, you'll find a balance, that way you'll have something to fall back on if something happens to go wrong with the relationship, which all of us of course hope DOESN'T happen.
Did this help, or just go all around the subject? o.O;
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (17 September 2006):
 I think you need to get back into doing those things that used to make you happy. I've been where you are and you just end up resenting the guy, even though he did nothing wrong. You end up giving things up and letting chances pass you just because you're with them.
Make an effort to do things apart from being with him. It will be weird at first, and you won't feel like doing it, but try it. You need to establish yourself as you, not you and him. I know this can be hard when you're in a relationship for so long and you're happy but let's face it, things don't always last forever.
You don't want to turn round when you've split up with him and wish you hadn't let those chances of fulfilling your dreams go. Don't let that happen, having regret it no good. Make sure you try your best to do things away from him and make you are more fulfilled person, and then you'll be a better girlfriend when you're together.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tine +, writes (17 September 2006):
 anything you want to do, do it. If he isnt discouraging you then he'll encourage you to do other thigns and it is necessary in a relationship to have those other things to do otherwise it will just get dull and boring. I know how you feel, being ina relationship does change your view points and ambitions suddenly pass away without you noticing but at least you realise that you are no longer interested, now is the time to act. Before it is too late. Your boyfriend won't mind, infact maybe it will give each of you a bit of space away from each other.
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