A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I caught my husband making out with the nanny. what should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Do Not Employ Handsome Servants.
- Chinese Proverb
Fire her and drag him to counseling.
Make sure that you tell the agency not to place her again and let them know exactly how untrustworthy she is as a nanny. I'd say trying to split up the family that you were hired to help is grounds for dismissal from the agency.
At least let him try to earn back your trust and keep your family together. I would give him one more chance to prove he wants to make a go of it. I would watch him like a hawk, though...
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Got a cast iron frying pan? Tell him to knock off this nonsense or you'll use it. And get a new nanny, an old one.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Fire your husband , so to speak. He is breaking the marriage vows not her, creating a hostile work environment, and disrespecting you and your kids not to mention a fellow women who may not have the life experience to know how to discourage a cad and not lose her job. What kind of man does that? Once you have cooled down when the kids are safely away at a trusted friends, talk to them both separately. Write down their answers. I would consider getting the nanny another job...remember he is the one with all the power ...she may have been flattered or afraid if she did not go along with it ...that she would lose her job. Oh course there is no way to salvage her job or your poor kids relationship with her. So sad.Tell your husband he needs to show you it will never happen. A real grown up would never risk his marriage for such bad judgment. Get councle be it a minister , shrink, marriage guru, whatever. Once someone is dishonest ...there is a breakdown of the commitment. And remember you caught them , what has he done that he has lied before about....is it worth it. At the same time I would not throw the baby out with the bath water. Fight for your m arrage if you feel it has a chance , and keep your eyes open. Good luck, and I am sorry to hear that happened to you. Gabby the kind of nanny that would never dream of such behavior!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): Talk to him about it - confront him. Make sure you get all of your questions answered! Ask him his intentions. But you've got to sack the nanny first honey! You can't continue to pay her and let her into your house, when she lacks basic respect for you. Why would you want this cunning, sneaky, lying woman around you any longer? Hire a nanny that you're sure he won't find attractive too, revenge!
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Sack the nanny, and find an old, ugly one. Don't even get into "whose fault it was".
Then forgive him. Eventually.
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A
male
reader, salvation +, writes (23 April 2008):
if you love him and want to save the mariage then talk to him maybe even see a couples therapist but personally i think you should get a divorce but it depends on the status of your relationship and how much you love each other think about it carefully
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