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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: well. basicly. I CAUGHT MY BOYFRIEND IN BED WITH MY SISTER WHILE HER BOYFRIEND WAS SAT DOWNSTAIRS!!! well ive been with him now for nearly 18 months, i thought he loved me, and i adore him! well DID. im confused! so bad, i stayed at a friends house on wednesday night and was textin him, he was comin round to mine on the thursday so i told him to go in the house (there was people in) and i wouldnt be long, i went home at about half 1 and my sister (age 13!!!!!!)s boyfriend of 2 months (age 17) was sat in the living room, so i said 'oh hey **** wheres everyone?' he said '**** (my boyfriend) has just gone upstairs and ******(my sister) has just gone to the loo' so i told him okay n everything went upstairs, walked into my sisters bedroom and they were in bed! MY 13 YEAR OLD SISTER AND MY 19 YEAR OLD BOYFRIEND!!! i flipped straight away, i was like OMG GET OFF OF HIM YOU SLAG!!! (she was on top of him) and i ran downsairs crying, her boyfriend was like '****** you ok? whats happened' and gave me a hug. i was like 'no im not really ok! do you know what your little tart of a girlfriend and my fuckin wanker of a boyfriend have bee doin up there!?!?!!' i was proper mad, he was just like no why i said well go upstairs then! so he ran upstairs to see what was going on and world war 3 kicked off! they were all arguein,, her boyfriend hit my boyfriend, everyone started yellin at each other, i just sat out on the drive way crying, my boyfriend came out to me and put his arm round me, i threw him away and told him to fuck offf out of my life forever, and my sisters boyfriend ran out of the house and shouted 'its over ***** get over yourself!' he came over to me and asked me if i was ok, sat with his arm round me talkin to me for a while and then he went home, my boyfriend wasnt tryin to make excuses or anything he was just like 'she offered it ona plate, would you say no? im really sorry, i love you proper millions, you dont know how much i regret this babe im so sorry i really love you, have i messed everything up?' i just didnt know what to do!!! luckily my parents where at work when this happened so they missed it all, but my sister managed to wreck two relationships in the space of 10 minutes. im so confused! can anyone help me please?! should i take my boyfriend back?! ahould i finish him forever?! i really love him! IM SO CONFUSED! I JUST WISH I COULD WAKE UP AND THIS WAS ALL A BIG DREAM, PLEASE HELP
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): some people may strongley disagree w/ me but u should not list to him when tries to presuade u to get u back he is of age and knows exactly wut he was doing. dont completly stop talking to ur sister (u will regret it one day as matter of fact u should talk w/ her she may have only been13 but she knew wut she was doing. i was sexually melested (as someone put that may have been done) and i dont think thats wut all guys do. im 16 and never once tried anything like that. i hope u find someone who doesnt try to have sex w/ ur sister. good luck! :D
A
female
reader, Eloise09  +, writes (1 August 2010):
It's terrible u have dismissed ur sister and made her feel the blame . She was 13 and probably thought that's what men did? Has she been abused before? U are crazy to take his side. He did it under your roof and old enuf to know better. That's very kinky. You should stick by ur sus she was only 13 not by him. She feels guilty he has made her feel this way. And now so have u. Children of abuse always think it's their fault. don't do this to ur sis . It was not her fault . She was a child .please believe me and by taking him back u are also his victim . He us only sorry cos of his guilt and fear of being found out . Believe me I know .
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female
reader, Eloise09 +, writes (31 July 2010):
Hi . Seriously get rid of him immediately. The same think happened to me when I was16 except my sister was 19 and she slept with my boyfriend on a ski trip. Her boyfriend slept with a 13 yr old that nite. He then went on to abuse and groom my little sister from six to 16 and has fucked up her life. He got away with it and has 3 beautful kids of his own who their mum let's them see!(my sister)he has already showd signs of peadofelia get rid .u don't love him . He is a predetor . He will strike again and tear your family apart. How do u think my little sister feels? a used. Com knowing he could do it o his own. Listen to me . All the best .
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): Dump him. If he really loves you, he wouldn't have slept with anyone else, let alone your SISTER. This is a really a messed up situation, and I suggest you get your ass outta there quick. As for dealing with your boyfriend, I would say he sucks, doesn't really love you, so just say, "Fuck you!" You don't need him. You are a woman-- one of the most important things you will learn in life is to keep your dignity.
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male
reader, Mrjazkiller  +, writes (2 January 2010):
hey girl sorry to hear that story...but thats life...well i'm 29 and i think i have more wisdom
than some of the folks replying to your message...
Sometimes, it really happens, no matter how much we love the person, we do commit mistakes, its just discipline thats keeping us morally. Your Bf may have loved you truly but maybe he was tempted by your sister. I can not tell you what you should do about your relationship, but i can tell you thing to do in this instances. first, you have to find out for your self if he really loves you, does he show remorse on what he did? is he sincere to his apologies? Does he make sacrifices for your relationship? I think these are very important clues to observe. Is he making an effort for you to get back if he really wants you back....
On your side, ask your self, do i really love this guy? can i depend on him? the bottom line here is, you should thinks this over and over again.I hope you understand what I mean...
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female
reader, saoirse babe  +, writes (20 October 2009):
well first of all im really only 12... so you would think i wouldnt know a lot about relationship but i actually do. all my friends have boyfriends and have kissed a boy before and i havent. ammm anyway being honest i would give him a second chance and maybe give ypur sister one too. I would defintly get back with him if you love him because love is something you dont find everyday but you must really love him. I would not ignore him but i wouldnt be in the best of a mood with him either i would leave him suck up to me for maybe a week and dont kiss him in that lenght of time and if he tries to the just let give you a peck on the cheek but not anything more. dont feel guilty for doing this because whta he did was very wrong but everyone deserves a second chance. and just to let you know amm the sentence he use" she had it on a plate2 is a complete joke and novody should ever say that to their girlfreind no matter what. xxx I hope this helped. and can i ask you a question. I have a boyfriend and he is a year younger then me and everybody slags me over him should i stay with him OR BREAK UP WITH HIM BUT I REALLY LOVE HIM XXXXXXX
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female
reader, lilzin  +, writes (1 September 2009):
 OK, first you should calm down and get all your anger out. Next go after your sister about it. why the hell would she offer him that is the frist quetion and why she bein a hoe is the second!! thats what i would do but you can do different
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male
reader, jey  +, writes (21 March 2009):
I totally no what ur talkin bout! my girl did the same to me, sept she did it while i was away in NY. We were crazy bout each other. Took her 2 days to find another guy to fuck; one of my best friends. He didnt know we were together though, he was away for a month before. Took a month of arguing, but i told her to fuck off in the end. Don't take him back! Do NOT take him back! I mean, u should do what you think, above all try to make urself happy, but im tellin you theres a big chance he will do it again, especially those dumbass excuses he made, he'll probably do it again. I think you should let him go.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2008): You know what you need to do. Your (ex-)boyfriend can never be trusted. Not only did he cheat on you, but he did it with your sister. I don't think you really need confirmation that that is really messed up and should not be tolerated. If you let him get away with it he has free reign to walk all over you, because honestly, it doesn't get much worse then that. Find someone who knows how to say no, because the opportunity for sex WILL come up again, and if he is the kind of guy who says yes just because its offered, he's not going to be a very good partner for anyone.
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female
reader, marmalade22 +, writes (30 July 2008):
 You have to LOVE you right now. Both you and your sister are making mistakes by letting this person hurt you both. He obviously TELLS you he loves you but the proof is in his actions....PLEASE see that words are just words. Get out and get away from this while you can. He is mentally abusing you. Anyone that would do that to you while you were in the house and with someone with whom you love has NO respect for you or her or the family bond that you have. He is showing his true colors and those are of a SNAKE. Completely dangerous and will ruin your life.....Love yourself enough to say NO Thanks, there is others that will love you TRUELY out in the world. Here I fear you will only suffer. Good luck to you!!!! Be strong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSORRY ABOUT THE PREVIOUS REPLY, I PRESSED THE ADD YOR ANSWER BY ACCIDENTyes, i do love him! my hearts telling me '****** you love him, dont let him go' and then my heads telling me 'get rid of this jerk! hes slept with your sister for heavens sake!' im just STILL very confused. the police is a NO GO! im not reporting him, im not ruining his life because of one mistake. its not worth that. althought i am NOT taking him back, we are kind of talkin again. this all happened on the thursday, on the following wednesday he phoned me and hes now explained EVERYTHING 10000s of times, eveything is kind of making sence to me now. KIND OF but i wunt go as far as saying its ok because ITS NOT. ive worked things out for myself and no one else. im living with my ex's sister, we get on very well and i can tell her anything. ive told her about this incident and she has listened and understood, she lives on her own in a flat so im stoppin with her for a while. i dont EVER want to see my sister again. we havnt spoke since this. apart from when she saw me packing my stuff she said to me 'was brill really, been dying to get into his pants for months' which annoyed me, frustrated me and wound me up to the point i nearly punched her!! this is one of the reasons ive started talkin to him again as maybe it wasnt him, obviously it was. it does take two! but she may of been the one forcing him, even though shes the younger one. ive become quite close to her ex too, weve met up a few times and just talked and stuff, he cant work it out either but theres nothing going on between us we are friends as he is the only one who understands. after my ex phoned me on the thursday we met up and as soon as he saw me he hugged me, it was like the biggest hug in the world! told me he loved me, i still love him I DO STILL LOVE HIM! i just find it hard touching him and letting him touch me after i know where hes been. we see each other about obviously it cant be avoided and we do talk, we cant just throw 18 months away like that. this has changed everything so rapidly, anyway sorry about this long reply i just thought id let you all know that your advice was great, and ive now worked most of this episode out and finally its makin some sort of sence, i dont have to see or talk to her again and hes explained everything. sorry about this long and probably pointless update, i just thought id say thankyou again and let you know how its goin :D x
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, i do love him! my hearts telling me '****** you love him, dont let him go' and then my heads telling me 'get rid of this jerk! hes slept with your sister for heavens sake!' im just STILL very confused. the police is a NO GO! im not reporting him, im not ruining his life because of one mistake. its not worth that. althought i am NOT taking him back, we are kind of talkin again. this all happened on the thursday, on the following wednesday he phoned me and hes now explained EVERYTHING 10000s of times, eveything is kind of making sence to me now. KIND OF but i wunt go as far as saying its ok because ITS NOT. ive worked things out for myself and no one else. im living with my ex's sister, we get on very well and i can tell her anything. ive told her about this incident and she has listened and understood, she lives on her own in a flat so im stoppin with her for a while. i dont EVER want to see my sister again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): also note that though he may beg and plead for your forgiveness he's probably scared that you'll tell on him and get him into jail
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female
reader, Khandi +, writes (21 July 2008):
 I believe your confusion is coming from the fact that you love him but your common sence is telling you that you should let him go, you sound as though you are more mad at your sister than you are at him, keep in mind that your sister is a minor who probably thinks that she knows it all and cant be told anything, but the truth is she is wrong and she is still a CHILD ! and she is going to try to do adult things (in which she has) with a mind of a minor. your boyfriend who i hope will be your ex boyfriend is an adult who made a really bad choice in having intercourse with your sister who is a child. HE is a pedophile any adult who can sexually view a child as someone to have sex with is a pedophile. sis if you let him get away with this now, in the future it will be someone else who he has sex with and will tell you the same story of how they offered it to him on a plate. is he going to take everything offered to him on a plate? you will have a big issue on your hands if you stay with him, becuse he has let you know in but so many words if another opportunity is offered to him he is going to take it. and besides what if you had not found out what happened how long would he have been plugging your little sister? all of the anger you have at your little sister should also be put on him. he may have been eyeing your sister for sometime during the relationship especially if he knew that she is a "slag" as you put it, you may have told him your sister was easy, if so Big mistake! you need to get rid of him he is an adult who likes children BAD CHOICE! In the US he would be so far under the jail he would be shaking hands with the devil! you are mad at sis and you should be, but he is the adult she cannot legaly consent to having anykind of sex with anyone! how many other 13 year olds offered it on a plate and he took it?. if he really loved you and cared about you more than he did himself he would've turned that plate down!
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female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (20 July 2008):
 I understand that you may love him, but he doesn't really respect you. He will just say what he knows you want to hear and something like this could happen again in the future. There ARE other guys out that that wouldn't even ever THINK about doing something like this. Your ex is seriously sick. You should seriously consider not ever taking him back and looking for a new and better boyfriend for yourself before you get hurt again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thanks again, 'Ask oldersister' when i say im not planning on tkaing him back anytime soon i mean, i dont want to take him back, but i do, ive been with him for 18 months! hes my first love, i adore him, i dont want to end it even though i know what he has done an my sister has done is unforgivable. i love him!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks again! much apprieciated advice, yeah i have finished him and am not planning on taking him back any time soon. he actually phoned me about an hour ago asking me if i could explain told me i didnt have to say anything if i didnt want to and he would understand if i never wanted to see him again. i know you might think three sexual partners is bad for a thirteen year old, but shes not had thre, shes had about a hundrer and three. no lie! she lost her virginity when she was 11, my mum found out and went mentall!!! but since then shes had at least two OTHER sexual partners that i know of ths have been beither my boyfriend of her boyfriend. shes just like that. no counciling could ever help her. she had a pregnancy scare in february. yeah like that changed anything! i still understand how you all feel about my 20 year old perverted boyfriend.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): 20 year old men know right from wrong, and should have self control. If your ex could do this to you with your kid sister, he is really has no maturity or consideration for you, and you can't ever trust him. You did right and showed yourself to be a self-respecting woman by getting rid of him. Move on, you can do so much better!
As for your sister, she is on a destructive path. You are understandably mad at her, but she is seriously messed up if she's already had three sexual partners at her age. Help her get counseling to stop this pattern now before she ruins her life for good, and before she ever steals another boyfriend from you.
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female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (19 July 2008):
If he really loved and respected you, just because it's "put on a plate" for him, doesn't mean he has to accept. He should have eyes only for you and should've ignored the invite from your sister. You shouldn't ever take this guy back. He cheated on your with your own sister. No matter how she is, it doesn't say too much for your boyfriend either. This situation is wrong in so many ways! Your sister may very well need help if she's already sleeping with many guys at such an early age. Your boyfriend just don't deserve you.
Good luck with this! I hope you make a wise decision and get everything straightened out:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): Some guys have a fantasy about having a sexual threesome with their girlfriend and her sister. So maybe this is why he did it with your sister, even though she's underage. He will likely brag about this in future years when he's older. You said your sister is a slut, but maybe she's jealous of you, or thinks your BF is really hot. Who knows the reason? Either way, you need to talk to your sister and tell her never to have sex with your BF again. I think you should also dump your BF and find someone else.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the replies, i understand how you feel about my boyfriend and that yes he is a 'pedophile' but i do love him and dont want this to ruin his life for him! i know what shes like, shes already slept with the 17 year old guy that shes been with for just two months and she slept with her previous boyfriend who she was with 3 week! so i know its not only him thats in the wrong, although im not taking him back until or even after i know the full story, not that i really want to know it, but i kinda do :S hes only 20 i dont want him puttin on the 'sex offenders list' that will ruin everything for him!! same as her boyfriend, hes 17 and he could get put on it too, it could ruin his life, these boys deserve lifes even though tey have slept with my 13 year old slut of a sister, i do know what shes like and like he said 'if its offered on aplate would you say no' im not sticking up for him at all because hes been in a relationship for 18 months and should have pushed her away! OMG IM SO CONFUSED!!! thanks for the advice anyway :) its apprieciated xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): It sounds like you were involuntarily involved in a very mixed up affair. No, you should not take your boyfriend back. If he cheats on you with your 13 old sister in your house, what would he do when you were not looking? He has no sense of morality obviously and will be nothing than a further burden to you if you let him.
I would suggest that your sister has some real issues. She is only 13 and she is engaging in this sort of behavior? You think this is normal? Three years ago she was 10 years old, get it? She is a child. You need to tell your parents about what happened since this is also a family dispute as well. Your sister may have acted inappropriately because of other things in her life. Do you know what is going on with her or why she would do such a thing?
I wish you all the best. Be strong and try to keep a clear head.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 July 2008):
 Hi, I think that you might need to tell someone about this. Your sister is only 13, after all, and your age is between 16-17? If you can't tell your parents, then here are some very good resources for you.
Childline-Most famous kids Charity in the UK with a very child-friendly website.
Childline deal with all sorts of problems involving kids. Quote from their website:
”You can talk to ChildLine about anything - no problem is too big or too small.
If you are feeling scared or out of control or just want to talk to someone you can call ChildLine.
Some of the things that people phone about are feeling lonely or unloved, worries about their future, problems about school, bullying, drugs, pregnancy, HIV and AIDS, physical and sexual abuse, running away and concerns about parents, brothers, sisters and friends, and crimes against them.
Whatever your worry, large or small, we're here to offer advice and support. When you are ready.
Call ChildLine on 0800 1111.
www.childline.org.uk
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