A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a married mother of 3. My oldest is a boy, he is almost 14. I caught him masturbating with the vacuum, today!! I am dumbfounded. His dad is going to talk to him, tonight. How can we deal with this, explaining the disgust and immoral act... without making him feel like he is going to hell?!?! I do not condone this kind of behavior AT ALL... it is as bad as beastiality..... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): The bible says it is better to put the seed in the belly of a whore than on the ground .That is about as close as it comes to saying it is wrong.All men get a erection that is a way of life .look at Jimmy swaggart and Jim Baker all churches almost have had a pastor caught fooling around with girls and boys.everyone sins no one is perfect olny God .So if you would tell the truth I am sure you have washed your cooter a little harder at times .It could be worst he could have been doing drugs and if you make him feel shame ful he might turn to drugs you need to get a grip on life and quit acting like Idiot ask your husband I assure you he has masturbated before.so leave the boy along he is already torn up with you catching him.
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male
reader, tron +, writes (21 June 2009):
I feel sorry for him, religious values should be kept far away from sex, makes me glad im Atheist. But, I would buy him a fleshlight like my mom did for me when I started masturbating, she said that it is better using a toy then risk getting a real girl pregnant or catching some illness.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009): The bible is not clear on this, but it does say 'to be in control of our bodies'. Meaning to me, it's not a sin, but in excess becomes addictive and harmful to us.
I can see the harm by reading posts on this site: for instance, a lady said her husband would rather take care of himself then make love. Healthwise, some say too much can cause ED...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009): mate hes 14,
i think your just being a bit over reactive to be honest.
i understand your concern about the vacuum, so yes, i think he shouldnot do that agian as you could get all sorts of diseases, but i think you should let him get on with it. Besides would tyou rather him be doing it with a girl?
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male
reader, godrocks! +, writes (31 January 2009):
hey female writer! shutup with that damb its so normal talk its a sin. sex isnt a sin unless your unmarried. masterbaiting is a wicked sin so dont say its not
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male
reader, godrocks! +, writes (31 January 2009):
ok this is what you do. get your husband to take the belt to him. this is what god said to do in the bible. god said if you love your son the punish him with a swat on the behind. only 3 though and make him read the bible and watch john hagee and repent his sins against god. and tell him masterbaition is a wicked sin and pornography is a wicked sin. it says so in the king james bible book of deuteronomy. if you are not saved then be saved by accepting jesus into your heart
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male
reader, ambo ligan  +, writes (11 August 2008):
please dont scold him.
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male
reader, ambo ligan +, writes (11 August 2008):
oh mother! come on, try to learn being a mother of your boys. they are boys and will always be boys. other boys do more embarassing things than that. they do that because of sexual tensions. your boy of his age is so sexually active just like me when i was that age. from now on, try to understand just leave him alone and ignore it when saw him once again.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): most vacs arent strong enough to do damage unless they're new.now probably if you put the hose of one on a nut it would damage it but i doubt putting the penis in the hose would hurt.my x had a few bf's she tryed it to and they liked it and nothing ever happened.
if you yell at him and act like its wrong he's gonna keep doing it in secret like when you and your hubby leave to go out.
look on the internet there's more women useing the vac to get off then men and there's an attachment sex toy now for the vac.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): wow calm down hes a BOY. and more importantly hes a 14 year old boy. all boy's do that, trust me. would you rather him be doing that to himself or him actually out there having a girl do it for him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): if you dont want him to do that buy him a fleshlight"fake vagina sex toy"
hell be fine
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female
reader, Cloe2323 +, writes (18 May 2008):
Ok, first of all masturbation is NOTHING like bestiality.For one thing, bestiality is illegal, involves sex with animals, and is gross. Masturbation, on the other hand, is normal and perfectly legal.He is only learning about his body and you are just trying to make things harder for him! Don't mess up your son's mind up with your ridicules and unnecessary scolding. Leave him alone!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): Unless he has the vacumm maxed out or falls in love with it there is no problem here but for your own ignorant and damaging attitude towards your son!
I would commend him for his ingenuity and ensure that he isn't going to hurt himself or allow you to hurt him with some massive guilt trip!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): i'm really shocked to hear the word beastly !!! Its their age to explore their bodies by themselves, would you rather he go and sleep with someone? (sorry for being direct) they also start to trust people alot and cope with emotions.. So dont interfere with their growths or your relationship with your son may be affected
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): what if you walked in on him with an animal? I think you would be much more horrified, and would wish it was a vacuum cleaner. If you over react to this situation, there is a good chance youll be a grandma way before your ready. I would be upset to if I found my kid doing this, but keep it in perspective. And ANYONE that says then have never masturbated is a liar.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): wow are you serious..."bad as BEASTIALITY" you say????????wow is all i can say to that. IGNORANCE describes this statement, the values, and i wouldn't be suprised if your son was corrupted later on to cope with this unfair sense of discipline
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): If he doesn't masturbate it will just start happening in his sleep - both perfectly normal bodily functions. If you condemn him for masturbating you will be the one damaging his soul. Just ask him not to do that with the vacuum again and leave it at that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Masturbating with a vaccum!!!!!. You would do well to be thankful that he did not hurt himself doing that. That is dangerous. The amount of vacuum produced by a vacuum cleaner can do serious damage to his reproductive and urinary system. Masturbation is not dangerous and it is, in fact, normal for a boy that age. Perhaps your husband will have the sense to talk to him about the dangers of using a vacuum and tell him the safe way to do it in the future. At his age, he is not about to stop. His hormones are coming to their maximum and he will continue to need to fulfill his sexual erge. Your husband almost certainly did that when he was your son's age and possibly still does.
As bad as beastality?????? I really can't believe that I heard that. If men, and women for that matter, are going to hell for masturbation, then heaven will certainly be a very lonely place for the ones who are left.
Please do yourself a favor and do an internet search and read about masturbation on some respected medical sites. Perhaps you will see that it is not the horrible act that you imagine.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Actually I think this is worse than beastiality!!!Beastiality will not cause a short circuit and subsequently electrifying experience.Try not to put the kid in therapy over this incident.
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reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 Hi,
I dare say your confrontation will not go down well. You see it as bad as bestiality and a disgusting and immoral act. What is immoral about it? he is 14 for crying out loud. Obviously you have very strict religious views about sex so I would warn you do not be surprised if your son doesn't beg for forgiveness from the creator. I somehow dont think this is going to happen.
At 14 a boy's hormones are raging and if the family environment is one of piety I am not surprised that he resorted to such desperate measures to masturbate.
He is 14 and 14 year old boys do stupid sometimes funny things. I put this in the funny category, embarrasing but funny. Try to lighten up a little.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Gee! Bet it hurt,should know asI did that once and Ouch! Went on to better ways of self pleasure,and so will he. Don't make a big deal out of something that really isn't a big deal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): I did that one time,and that was quite enough for me,guess it will be for him too. And he like the rest of us who don't have a hang-up about a normal, healthy, good for you, self-pleasuring,"Masturbation". He Will find better ways to enjoy himself. So don't make a big deal out of something that isn't really a big deal at all. Just mention that he could hurt himself by using the vacuum cleaner,and let it go a that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): I did that one time,and that was quite enough for me,guess it will be for him too. And he like the rest of us who don't have a hang-up about a normal, healthy, good for you, self-pleasuring,"Masturbation". He Will find better ways to enjoy himself. So don't make a big deal out of something that isn't really a big deal at all. Just mention that he could hurt himself by using the vacuum cleaner,and let it go a that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Please, Do be careful how you handle this one,as you are dealing with just plain old childhood masturbation,regardless of how he engaged in the act. I tried that myself,but then it hurt,so I found better ways to enjoy myself. So just point out that he could injure himself,and that masturbation is A-Okay, but in a more gentle way. Do I still use the vacuum cleaner? No way, and he too will find more enjoyable ways to enjoy his body. So don't make a big deal out of some thing that is not a big deal,then forget it.
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female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 the same as beastality? em i would definitely not agree with that, and it is not a sin, and i feel sorry for him if you make him think like that. he is 14, he is young and he is just exploring his body and is trying to deal with puberty and all the new sexual feelings he is having. if you make him feel like this behaviour is sinful and awful, he will be ashamed, and it will probably affect him. to be honest im a little freaked out that you think its as bad as beastality, try to understand how your son feels at 14, at least your husband should
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): The first thing that occurred to me when I read this is that perhaps he has heard from friends at school about (and sorry to be so blunt) blow jobs. I remember when I was that age, little boys used to talk about blow jobs alot and how they were very curious about them, even more than sex. So perhaps he thought a vaccum cleaner could imitate the same sensation as a blow job would, (you know it'll "suck" his ****)and only probably cause he has heard kids talk about it at school.
Kids at that age are very hormonal. I TOTALLY understand how weird and distraught you must feel as a mother to have to catch your son doing something 'kinky.' I mean he is your baby and you just would have never wanted to see him in that light. That's completely understandable.
Now I am not quite sure what behavior it is that you don't condone. The vaccuum? Or masturbation in general? In either case, I guarantee you that he's not going to hell. So don't worry. Masturbation is perfectly normal at that age and most if not all kids do it. And he is probably not the first kid to have tried to use objects in order to do it.
There is absolutely no reason for you to make your son feel that what he has done is immoral and disgusting. Cause its not. I'm sure he is mortified enough anyways. If anything, using a vacuum could be unsafe cause it might chafe his privates. But immoral? No. Unsafe? Probably.
Maybe you should let your husband do the talking. He's a guy so he can probably relate pretty well to this. Its probably time your son had the birds and the bees talk. Your husband could tell him stories about his own experiences as a kid and growing up with lots of hormones. And make him feel comfortable with his body and with his urges. I'm sure your husband's been there and can offer alot of good insight into the matter. Maybe they could share a beer and talk about being guys.
Don't make your son feel bad. Believe me he is probably mortified enough as it is. He probably just needs some unjudgmental, wise and loving guidance. That's all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): Honey, I can probably imagine the horror that you first went through, the "oh my God what have I given birth too!".
But take a deep breath a chill out a bit!
Your probably not going to like the fact that we are thinking, really, with no disrespect to you, that it is pretty funny. Horribly embarrassing for your son, and I might suspect something that he would never have done again, even if you didn't catch him. I hope he didn't hurt himself!! (sorry).
No but seriously, don't get too worked up about this. I agree with the others that he probably heard about it from his mates, in magazines or on the internet. He's just a lad who has raging hormones running through him, probably talking about sex, girls and weird stuff with his mates, all the time, and is quite possibly perfectly normal! I can assure you there is a big difference in what he did and beastiality. Be careful not to make too much of this or you could actually have a major impact on your sons self esteem.
My advice if this was my son, (I have one but he is 24), is to make a bit light of it and, yes tell him you were not impressed and hope he got that out of his system. Tell him he could have hurt himself and ask him where he heard about it. This is your time to talk about acceptable behaviour with your son, but in a loving nuturing way and not in the way you are implying. You need to understand he didn't want you to catch him, he is more than likely mortified. He already possibly feels, from your reaction, that he is some sicko.
I think perhaps what could be helpful if some of the aunts/uncles told you stories to make you understand that this really is not as big of a deal as you are making it.
But the way you handle it is incredibly important in my opinion.
Sorry but I think you have overeacted and need to calm down. I think it is funny and something you should bring up at his 21st with some creativity! Maybe present him with the vacumn hose as a sign of his manhood! Lol, (sorry)
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): i dont condone that sort of behaviour either but "bad as beastiality"hardly,think about it from his perspective his hormones are raging and he just wants to have sex he probly just lost his head for a second when it comes to me i tend to not think as clearly if im horny just try not to be so hard on him its as difficult a situation for him as it is for you. best wishes
-michael
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female
reader, hello1  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 LOL, I had to laugh reading the title. And no beastiality is not the same as masturbating. I know you might be horrifed at the moment but come on it's not a sin
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (18 February 2008):
 Hey, don't be so harsh! Putting myself in your shoes, I would feel slightly disgusted however, you shouldn't take it out on the poor lad - Think of how embarrassed he's gonna be when your husband talks to him about it! Sexual pleasure is desired at such a young age nowadays! He's probably just heard about it from a few mates at school and he's wanted to try it out for himself... don't take it out on him too much yeah? xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): this is completley normal for a boy his age, as he is 'exploring' his body. its not much as a sin as sex. why do you think he will go to hell, everybody does it.
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