A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I were suppose to do some research together on his laptop when I stepped away I came back in the mist of him clearing his browse history. I was completely shocked, he said he didn't want me see his porn sites and was embarrassed. I told its not a matter of him watching porn it a matter of him being sneaking and hurrying up to delete something instead of having a conversation. I just feel he's untrusting to be so bold to sneak and delete something as soon as I stepped away.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2021): I found my husbands browsing history in his work laptop. He went to sleep, quite soundly I might add. He left it on and the blue light was keeping me up. I got out of bed and went to turn it off.
I touched the mousepad and sure enough he was using a private browser. I tapped on the screen to find a porn site he was still on. I tapped on his browser and a very large amount of porn site appeared. I was disgusted and did not want to look. He was watching a lot of videos of woman giving blow jobs and these men ejaculating on their faces. The more I looked the more videos I discovered of woman receiving men shooting on the woman in the videos faces.
After further investigation I discovered he also was watching videos featuring many men performing what is called a “circle jerk.” Basically to my outrage, their was 2 woman on the floor while a large group of men with very large erections ejaculated multiple loads on their faces. This was disgusting and very foul looking. I could not believe my husband would watch this stuff. Especially on his work computer.
I never mentioned it to him, I was too embarrassed to ask him what reasoning he has for watching this trash.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2021): He is at fault here! Not you!
He should not have porn on his computer to even be erasing!!!
Men are dogs when it comes to porn use. They have no clue the level of damage it causes to the women in their lives.
I say let him watch his porn. Delete it even. Then let him watch you walk out never to return!
Porn use should be a deal breaker!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2021): I have no idea why wome people assume porn ( which is an industry that thrives of the abuse of women and girls )
is some god given right that we have to ‘respect ‘
Anyone just has to take a look at these sites and the massive amounts of trouble they have been in for the abusive material on their sites
Why should any woman have to be with a man who hides that he supports these sites if people want to use qbd support this crap then so be it but your totally entitled to expect him to be upfront qbd honest
I mean if you were supporting industries that commit child abuse and qbd denegration of men and boys , human sex trafficking etc would he not have a right to know , be disgusted and choose to walk away
That is of course unless he somehow knows without doubt that the platforms he uses qbd shooters have zero women posted without consent , zero abuse , etc . In which case why would he hide it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2021): It's kinda private! What kind of conversation were you going to have? I guess he knew if you saw it; not only would he be embarrassed, but I suspect you were going to be very upset. You didn't even see it, and you're upset!
This porn issue is a never-ending battle. If people want to watch it, the last thing they'll do is seek permission. It's too private to have a big discussion about; and if you're upset about what you didn't see; I guess he knows you well enough to get rid of it before you did!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (3 August 2021):
 He doesn't want to share his porn history with you, so respect that. Odd that he didn't do that BEFORE you actually started to use his laptop but perhaps you didn't give him chance?
Give the guy some privacy. If he wanted to share it with you, he would have done. Not everyone is comfortable sharing that sort of information with their partner.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (3 August 2021):
 If you were doing research together why would he delete his browsing history, unless he thought you were going to look at his history when he left the room or something.
He could of just been open and honest and said " ok i watch a bit of porn " But deleting the history while you were somewhere else is rather shady.
Who know's why, maybe he was embarrassed at the type of porn it was, or something he never wanted you to see so needed to be disregarded quickly. Otherwise i feel he would have left it, it would of remained in his history and you would have been none the wiser.
I feel now he has aroused your suspicions and you are now going to be wary that he is hiding something from you.
He needs to be open and honest with you, relationships are built on trust. If you can't trust him then probably best you walk away from this relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2021):
 I don't think he is untrusting of you. I think he genuinely was embarrassed. He didn't want you to think LESS of him as a man.
And now you do.
So it's a loss/loss for him.
As to what he enjoys of porn why does he need to have a conversation with you about that? (unless it was some really out there porn or illegal stuff). You are not his mommy and you don't need to APPROVE what porn he watches.
Unless he has claimed that he NEVER watches pron or you have a "no-porn" policy in your relationship - why does this bother you so much?
Address that first, then talk to him.
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