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I caught feelings for a friend and I'm not sure if I should tell them

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2018) 1 Answers - (Newest, 7 June 2018)
A age 26-29, anonymous writes:

We've worked together for about a year now. We became friends a couple months ago after he broke up with his girlfriend, and we started hanging out outside of work (his initiation). We've hung out every week with his group of friends, and aside from hanging out alone once, I didn't have any reason to believe he had any motive other than friendship. He's never made any moves or been flirty, etc.

The thing is, I feel like our friendship escalated kinda quickly. He's invited me on two vacations this summer (both over a week long, and with only one other person). We also hang out at the same time every weekend, and have hangouts planned weeks in advance.

Our coworkers seem to think we're both into each other, and there's been talk around the office. I've shrugged it off in front of him because I don't want to make things weird between us (and I obviously don't know how he feels), but most people there know that I'm interested in him.

The other day he mentioned a girl that he was talking to, and it hit me that I have feelings for him. I guess I thought maybe something could happen between us in the future, and now I feel weird about going on vacation with him. I don't want to cancel plans, but I definitely feel uncomfortable and don't know if I should talk to him about it.

View related questions: broke up, co-worker, flirt

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 June 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI'm sorry to say this but I don't think he sees you as more than a friend and good support system.

Why do I say that?

Well, for one he is talking about another woman and secondly he has made NO move on you in all the time you two have become closer. Both I would regard as signs that he isn't INTO you in a romantic way at all. BUT he does enjoy your company a lot.

My guess is that IF you bring this up things will become uncomfortable and awkward. Why? Because you work together and you hang out A LOT together.

Maybe what you need to do is dial this thing back. Why? Because you seem to have caught feelings for the guy. When something like this become a little one-sided (as far as romantic feelings) it can EASILY become awkward.

I might even consider cancelling the vacation plans with him and make some with other friends OUTSIDE of work.

I think you were a sort of "rebound without a relationship" after his break up with his GF.

Sorry, I guess that is not what you want to hear.

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