A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have a good male friend who i care for very much and we get on really well. heres the problem-he lies and im hurt at why he does it to me when he says he trusts me and im a good friend to him. for example he said in his previous job he was a senior member of a security team dealing with a list celebrities etc but ive since found out he was just a security room guard.he says he has huge sums of money invested in a business yet is doing my job and has contridicted what hes said at times. also he tells me stuff and when i mention it later says i must have misheard him or he didnt say it. apart from this he is a lovely person but im really hurt why he feels the need to do this when ive been nothing but good to him
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (19 January 2011):
Hi there. He probably tells porky pies (lies), because he lacks in self confidence and wants to impress you.
I don't think for one minute, that he is doing it to hurt you in any way.
So in future, don't try and catch him out and say something, just take it with a grain of salt and go along with it, as if you believe it. Don't argue with him and say it's not true. Just pretend you believe him. Regardless of what you think about it at the time. Just be the friend to him that you have always been.
After all, he's not really doing anything that makes any negative difference in the world, is he now?
Perhaps you should feel flattered that he does want to impress you - even if it isn't entirely true. He's not exactly telling huge lies, just a slight embellishment of the truth - because it sounds better to him.
Some people are like that. He's not breaking any laws, and he's not hurting anyone. He's not hurting or abusing you in any way, he's just twisting the truth a little. No real harm done.
Just take it with a grain of salt. Don't laugh at him, just be kind and respectful to him and let him know that you accept him for who he is. You don't have to actually say this, just let him know by your actions, that he is a great guy and that you value him as a friend.
It's even possible, that maybe he might like you to be more to him than just a good friend. He might be laying the foundations now, for that to happen.
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (18 January 2011):
 hi
unfortunately he sounds like a BS artist and its a shame that some people are like that because it spoils what could be a great person. its like they don't realise that you would still like them regardless of high flying jobs in the past or money invested in things.
is he telling you this stuff because he thinks it gives him a better chance of getting into your pants? liars are always a no-no for me personally coz i think if they are lying about silly things like this, they will lie about anything. there are different sorts of lie to, there are lies that someone will tell to spare your feelings, there are lies that they will tell to get themselves out of trouble, or there are lies like the ones you have mentioned where he seems to be doing it for fun!
'childish' and 'untrustworthy'are the words that spring to mind. be careful, you may find you don't know the 'real' him at all
xx
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