A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I’m not normally one to ask personal questions on these sort of things but I need advice I’ve been with my fiancée for 6 years we have a 3 year old together I started sleeping in the spare room when our child was ill and I haven’t moved back into our shared bedroom now that was a year ago I’m not entirely sure why I haven’t moved back into there tbh I have initiated sex with her a few times as we haven’t had sex since last June she was texting someone else as she said I wasn’t showing her enough affection or love she has stopped texting this person now she just seems to have no sex drive at all I can’t understand why she doesn’t want sex with me anymore any ideas why this might be any advice would be appreciated
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (21 April 2020):
 Good sir,
You are single handedly destroying your marriage, and wonder why your wife does not want you??
1) "I started sleeping in the spare room "
You have decided to put up walls and a hugh distance between you and your wife. Your wife was there before the child. Yet you chose yourself over your wife. I am sure you know what a baby monitor is...which means you do not need to sleep in separate rooms. I am also such you were having your fun on your own. Because no horny man in his right mind would pass up sex with a real woman, who is in the next room.
2) " I’m not entirely sure why I haven’t moved back into there tbh "
You know very well why you have not moved back. My guess...Your own selfish reasons. You get to sleep all night and not be disturbed by a sick, crying child. Leave that work all to your wife. You get all the alone time you need. Your wife on the other hand is exhausted, gets up and make breakfast, and do all she does. She is to tired to even think about sex, but you...well rested, a room to masturbate to your hearts content, don't even bother with her needs since last June...but it's all her fault she does not want sex with you.
The only reason you want sex with her now, is that your ego is being texted be her texting another man. You do not want her to find someone else, but you really don't care for her either.
Keep going the way are...You know that saying...If you don't look after what is yours, someone else will happily do it for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2020): What is the reason you have only initiated sex a few times ? Do you use porn? If you do, does she know and how does she feel about it? Many men complain their partner goes off sex and are clueless that for some of us women it completely kills our sex drive to know it’s partners are getting all worked up over other women then using us to finish the job it just using us whilst thinking of other women
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2020): You've only initiated sex with her "a few times since last June" to quote you, so why wouldn't SHE be wondering why YOU have seemingly lost interest in intimacy? Many men would be initiating a heck of a lot more than a couple of times. She told you outright she felt a lack of affection from you, so ...why don't you show here more?
As for not sharing a room, that is common and not a big deal if you both sleep better apart, as long as you make time to come together as a couple at other times.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2020): Has your fiance been evaluated by her doctor for postpartum depression?
Why don't you come clean, and tell us why you haven't moved back into the bedroom? You can't leave us hanging like this!
Are you and your fiance in an open-relationship? It seems peculiar she's texting someone else, and you're fully-aware of it. You sleep in a separate room, yet you don't have a clue why the woman you show no love or affection doesn't want sex with you???
Sir, are you being a rascal and just making-up a story?
Do us a favor and fill-in the gaps. Give us the backstory.
Please take your time to compose a more complete and grammatically-correct post; if English is your second-language. Your fragmented and run-on sentences are confusing. You don't use proper punctuation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2020): Although she has stopped texting someone else (?); that doesn't mean she has stopped caring for whomever this mystery-person is.
I think you know precisely why you haven't moved back into your bedroom. It's been a year!
You've apparently abandoned your fiance emotionally. Yet you can't figure-out why you've shut yourself out? My friend, you sleep in another room! How is she supposed to take that? You both do realize that an engagement comes before marriage?
You are obviously emotionally-unavailable. How's that for starters?
You moved-out of the bedroom; apparently in the midst of troubles in your relationship. I think failing to show her affection or love is a good reason for someone not to want sex with you. It doesn't justify turning to an outsider when you're engaged; or resorting to psychological-affairs when you have issues to resolve in an existing relationship.
The dynamic of your relationship is quite puzzling.
You are sharing fragments of what's happening in your relationship. Your story seems full of wholes. What is her relationship with this person she is contacting? How is it that you seem fine with it?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (19 April 2020):
 WHY haven't you moved back into the shared bedroom? What are you waiting for? Perhaps your fiancee sees your lack of desire to move back into her bed as a sign you do not want sex with her?
Who looks after the child? Does your fiancee work? Does she look after the child and the house as well? Is it possible she is just plain exhausted? Are you a hand-on dad? Do you do your share of housework?
Sorry, more questions than answers but you two need to actually TALK to each other and find out what is going on. Not only talk, but be prepared to LISTEN too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2020): Dear OP,,, and you let the texting someone else situation just .. pass?? ! I think your guys have more bigger problems that just lack of sex! Of course not sex between you both is the result of your other problems! Time to call her out and ask what is going on and how this can be fixed! Good luck
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