A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 15 years in April. We have 2 children. In Nov 2001 my husband went on holiday with a friend of his behind my back, he said he was going on a business trip. I found out before his flight had even landed, he returned a couple of days later and things were bad.I then said for him to break contact with this friend and he did, briefly. He went behind my back again in 2003 going to a friends engagement party and telling our friends not to tell me that he had bought his friend along. That was the final straw and again i said for him to break contact. He did. Then in Oct 2006 i agreed he could see his friend again as long as he was truthful. I find out in January 2007 that he has seen this friend and text and hid it from me. The trust that had gradually started to come back has now completely gone. I don't believe a word he says anymore and i now feel that the time has come to seperate. He has now gone away on a golfing trip with friends and has done a couple of times. Today his flight was cancelled due to bad weather i was concerned, as i did not hear from him. he could not be bothered to let me know he was flying from another airport, i had to phone his brother who was on another flight. I was then sent a text late this evening saying he had just landed and was tired. He could not even be bothered to phone me. I have now just had enough.
View related questions:
on holiday, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (9 February 2007):
 The lies are definitely not good. I dont understand why he would lie to you before taking off on a plane. (To the second poster: have you heard of homo or bisexuals?) not that I'm saying your husband's cheating on you with this guy. But who knows, the lies are definitely enough to break your trust in him and change the way you see him. I think he maybe taking you for granted that he didn't call you when he landed or anything. Maybe a calm, neutral third person can help you solve this problem by allowing you both to say your piece without getting too emotional
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2007): have you met this so called friend ? maybe you should . maybe have a holiday or least suggest having a holiday together . or meal out if monies stretch to it ,
yes its good to do things apart ,but secrets are not all they do is pull things apart . if your husband cares about you and your relationship then he would involve you in it too, trying to make friends cover up is not fair on anyone , sounds like the trust has gone in this relationship. try to sit down together or with a third person as go between to sort this . as marriages dont last now adays its vital to give it one more shot before you decide whether you should walk
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007): I would understand if your husbands friend was female, but for your husband to go away with his mate 3 times in 6 years doesn't seem to be unreasonable. You come across as quite controlling by telling him who he is allowed to see, no wonder he doesn't want you to know what he is doing. Just because you are married doesn't mean that you both stop having your own lives and enjoyment as well so long as you both get your fair share of doing your own things and time together as well.
...............................
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 February 2007):
 There is something very wrong with your marriage. Your husband seems to WANT to go off on his own without you, he went to an engagement party and chose to take his friend along instead of you! Seems to me he likes the single life with his friend all the time instead of knuckling down to his responsibilities of family life.
Have you met this friend of his before? If so, was he nice? He seems to have a big influence over your husband in one way or another and if that's the case then he's not good for him.
I suggest you sit down with your husband (when his friend's not there) and have a serious talk with him. Make sure the kids aren't around and that the TV isn't on. You need to ask him why he does what he does? Why doesn't he tell you? You wouldn't mind him going on occasions with his friend but it would be nice if you could get away at times too. Ask him if he still wants to stay in the marriage and if he says yes then he'll have to prove to you by his actions that he's serious. Let him know you can't trust him anymore because of his constant lies.
Why didn't he call you to let you know his flight was delayed? Doesn't he think you worry about him? Why didn't he call you when he landed? Tell him it's just NOT good enough and you're sick of it! If he can't mend his ways then he obviously doesn't think the marriage is worth saving and it might be better if he moved in with this friend and let you get on with your life!
Eve
...............................
|
